While the Force cult and Sith discussion are interesting, it’s not really explored in the film.

Here’s where my thoughts lie at the moment:

The Republic is in crisis.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore its legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.

Rejoicing in Skywalker’s
downfall, sinister agents
bearing the mark of the
evil FIRST ORDER have
emerged from a hidden
Imperial base to declare
that anyone who seeks
the return of the Jedi
shall be destroyed.

In an act of RESISTANCE,
a daring band of rebels
armed by the Republic
has sent their greatest
pilot to Jakku, desperate
to find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…

There are quite a few little changes and tweaks here.

Most notable is that the ‘New Republic’ has been changed back to simply the ‘Republic’. This is due to several reasons, mostly length of the title on the line, and this also helps to prevent the audience dwelling on the title of an organization which doesn’t really have much presence in the film. It also is a valid way to describe the government and is described this way in the film itself. Also, introducing it in the first line allows for a more clear understanding that the Jedi Order is essential for replicating this timeless Republic, which Luke was trying to do. Finally, I can now have the Republic introduced before paragraph two, and this frees up that paragraph to flow better as it is now fully about the First Order.

I’m pretty happy with where the crawl is now, and I’m really beginning to feel a bit like David in the Wrath of Khan: “I don’t think there’s another piece of information we could squeeze into the memory banks.”