It’s funny that you zeroed in on that line to remove, as I had literally copied it into the paragraph because I thought the second paragraph needed to include the New Republic. But you’re right that it was in the wrong place. How about this:
EPISODE VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS
The galaxy is in crisis.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore the legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.
With the New Republic
overwhelmed by chaos
and despair, agents of
the evil FIRST ORDER
have risen from a hidden
Imperial base to proclaim
that anyone who seeks
Luke Skywalker’s return
shall be destroyed.
In an act of RESISTANCE,
a rebel force supported
by the Republic military
has sent its most daring
pilot to Jakku, desperate
to find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…
Granted, it does still have the change from ‘New Republic’ to ‘Republic’, but I think it makes sense if I include the ‘military’ modifier since that makes it more clear that the Senate may not actually support the Resistance, only the Starfleet really supports Leia.
JEDIT: I could say “Republic Starfleet” in the crawl instead of “Republic Military”. The benefit would be to imply that we would see them in action, saving the day at the end of the film, only to subvert expectations with their absence. Alternately this may be seen as annoying to introduce something that is only referenced a few times and barely seen. And perhaps I could make more reference to an individual instead of the vague ‘rebel force’:
In an act of RESISTANCE,
a rebel leader supported
by the Republic Starfleet
has sent her most daring
pilot to Jakku, desperate
to find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…
JEDIT 2 Electric Boogaloo: Or I could just do what you said and keep New Republic across both paragraphs, since ‘Starfleet’ isn’t the technical lore term and ‘New Republic Defense Force’ probably wouldn’t even fit on a line.
The galaxy is in crisis.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore the legendary
Jedi Order, has vanished.
With the New Republic
overwhelmed by chaos
and despair, agents of
the evil FIRST ORDER
have risen from a hidden
Imperial base to proclaim
that anyone who seeks
the return of the Jedi
shall be destroyed.
In an act of RESISTANCE,
a rebel leader supported
by the New Republic has
sent her most daring pilot
to Jakku, desperate to
find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…