Thanks, VulgarisMagistralis! I really appreciate this. Have you seen the original show?
You’ve picked out a few of my more radical ideas for this season, so I’m interested to hear others’ thoughts on whether you agree with Vulgaris that I’ve gone too far here. My intention with all of these more broadly was to remove some of that early ‘anthology’ feel and try to have season one feel a bit more cohesive - perhaps I have failed in that and this all feels too fan-edity?
Specific comments:
- On 5, I think this is a necessary evil. The original arc had a very odd structure, where in the first episode the team fail then succeed, becoming “the best team ever”. But then they’re placed on the Rishi moon, which is clearly a lesser posting, but through a few team sacrifices they become Arc Troopers. And then finally they help at Kamino and rejoin the 501st. My intention was to smooth this out - having them fail their training and have the lesser posting at Rishi be a punishment. But THEN, through perserverance and sacrifice, and the success at Kamino, they become Arc Troopers of the 501st in response to all of that. To me, that feels like a smoother three-act structure for them, but I’m interested to know how others feel about how well that lands.
More voices would be appreciated here, if this content is jarring (for the hypothetical first-time viewer) I’ll have to revisit the work.
Having just seen the episode, I think it works fine, until the third act when it suddenly has a time jump to Kamino. I think if you could make a card to show the lapse of time or a montage, then it would work better.
Also I think you should show the part where fives gets his distinguishing handprint on his amour as it’s important important character development for him, especially as he plays an important role in later episodes.