Getting back on track, I really think that one of the simplest edits would be to cut the bullying from the opening sequence.
You could start the same, even include the other kids not believing that the boat could sail, but then instead of the rock throwing, cut straight to Finrod saying “It was a good boat.” I’d also suggest trimming his line about not always being there, since it foreshadows too much. Instead, go from “you must learn to discern them yourself” to saying that their parents need them to head home.
Small changes; big difference in keeping “paradise” feeling like paradise.
I really like this idea. The bullying felt out of place to the story, but the scenery was so beautiful!