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Great news so far 😃
I´ve to binge watch your latest episodes 😄
Will you be including this piece when it´s finished?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w5vfSAJgms
I haven’t seen the arch in a long time, but is there an angle you could take where say its only from Anakin’s perspective? (if you wanted to cut things down) It’ll paint Clovis in a much worse light I’d feel and although some of the political parts may be lost it could prove to help reduce the episode to it’s better parts
(not sure how viable this idea is, given I haven’t seen the arch in a while)
Just to address this directly, I did consider it. I looked into trimming most of the first episode and explaining Padmé’s investigation via the crawl, starting when Anakin breaks her out of prison. But I don’t think we can start with Padmé in prison without seeing the steps that take her there. We know she likes a caper, but I felt like we really needed to see it - plus to see Clovis’ introduction as the arc flows around him.
A spelling mistake (“Opnion”) in The Enemy Within intro text
I’ve just fixed this, and re-released that episode as version 2.1.
Good news! I managed to cut Fives’ capture out of Tup’s death scene, which means he keeps a hold of Tup’s chip, so we don’t have to have him captured and freed again, and can focus on the investigation as they sneak around.
This was a tricky one - lots of audio work because the main tracks had a voice echo in them, and lots of shots of other characters in the background. But it works!
Really pleased with today’s progress on the Order 66 arc.
Since I was able to remove Fives getting captured from the scene where Tup dies, I’ve got the final two episodes - the second half - down to bang on 30 minutes. I don’t care too much about the length, but really what that trim means is that I’ve been able to keep the pacing of the investigation plot high, so the audience’s focus gets to stay on the intrigue. Fives’ investigation is fully intact, as is most of his tense attempt to get the message to someone he trusts on Coruscant.
I’ve done more in that section to keep the mystery a secret for the viewer. Originally, the audience know from quite early on that Nala Se is in league with the Separatists, and that the Separatists are behind everything. Instead, I’ve kept that offscreen, so that the audience knows only as much as Fives does, so the mystery is higher. Nala Se acts in a way that’s totally valid as someone who wants to cover up a potentially costly mistake, until the very end, where I’ve merged her earlier call with Dooku with her later call with Dooku to have her revealed as a co-conspirator only after Fives is dead, leaving the secret buried (and hanging over the series).
This way, we get the added bonus of discovering that the Jedi may be behind it at the same time as Fives, and having that as a valid supposition for the audience too - we know, after all, that a Jedi ordered the army. This makes Shaak Ti seem a little suspicious too, as the Kaminoan correspondent and the one who brings him to Palpatine before the Jedi.
Until the end, anyone could be responsible - including the possibility that Fives is simply wrong and that the chips (while secretive) are benevolent, and it was indeed a virus causing his and Tup’s erratic behaviour. The tension feels a lot higher like this, and it flows well. There’s a conspiracy without a known conspirator, that gives us momentum all the way through until it gets covered up, and then we learn it’s a worst-case scenario where Sidious behind it all and that it’s some sort of long-planned trap for the Republic.
I also trimmed a shot of the flying whales, the redundant taxi driver conversation, a little of other clones hunting for Fives while he’s at the clone bar (though they’re still seen and searching), and Palpatine being a little too sinister. I also took out a few lines where Fives references Palpatine or says that this goes “to the very top” (though it’s still clear that this is a conspiracy at a very high level) - we just get a bit more plausible deniability from our main characters if Palpatine hasn’t been directly implicated.
I think I’m calling this episode Good Clones Follow Orders, but as usual, I’m open to suggestions.
I’m also planning on checking out a slightly different re-ordering in seasons two and three, with the main goal being to have Maul as an active threat to the galaxy for longer, to slightly pace him better, and to give Ahsoka just a little break in a string of more traumatic experiences.
I’m not quite ready to announce that change formally, as I need to watch it through myself first to see if I need to change any references, but the second tab of my spreadsheet (titled “Ordering working sheet”) shows the planned new ordering, with moved episodes having the letter ‘m’ after their episode number. If anyone’s curious, that is.
We’re nearing the endgame so I’d really like the full end-to-end show to be ready for those who’ll pick it up then.
I’m rendering a workprint of the Order 66 arc now, so I can check over how the complete new narrative plays out.
My issue with the original finally clicked too - it’s inherently a mystery story, but with no mystery. It’s a 90 minute arc, but where ten minutes in you see the bad guys who are behind it discussing exactly how they’re involved, so there’s no mystery for the audience whatsoever. It’s not fun to watch a character spend 80 minutes catching up to what the audience already knows. (I mean, you could argue that about a prequel series, but that’s not the point! 😉)
Anyway, the entire plot now plays out in pretty much the exact same structure, we just focus on Fives’ perspective so the mystery can unfold for the audience in real time. I did some good condensing work on the second episode too, merging three scenes of Fives in his medical room to just one. That was tricky, as I had to keep the placement of the characters consistent.
Hopefully have this finished today, or tomorrow at the latest.
Great news so far 😃
I´ve to binge watch your latest episodes 😄
Will you be including this piece when it´s finished?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w5vfSAJgms
Awesome, hope you enjoy and feed back!
I’ve seen that clip, I don’t expect to use it though, mostly because I won’t have a place in the narrative for it. But if one becomes apparent, then sure!
Right, it’s complete, save for the usual trimmings, but I need to stop there for tonight. I should get it finished tomorrow.
Is it possible for you to use a similar technology lucasfilm used for kenobi for Vader’s voice to replicate palpatine’s voice for the seasons that had Tim curry as the palpatine to sound like Ian mcdiarmid
It’s not something that registered to me as a major issue that needs fixing, and I don’t have any knowledge about how to do it, but I’d incorporate clean alternate voice lines if anyone did the work to produce them.
Awesome, hope you enjoy and feed back!
I’ve seen that clip, I don’t expect to use it though, mostly because I won’t have a place in the narrative for it. But if one becomes apparent, then sure!
Just spitballing, but you could use a few flashes from it as a “vision” when Ashoka is on the ship bridge and sense’s Anakin’s fall. Something like: she’s holding at her forehead, a few flashes of the duel in TCW style (maybe with Latner’s “what have I done” in place of Duel of the Fates from the video) and then back to when she whispers Anakin’s name.
This is the full Order 66 arc, which is a quite popular arc involving the investigation of a clone whose Order 66 protocol triggered early. I’m using this episode as season four’s ‘Clones vs Loyalty’ plot, which I’ve been putting one of in each season so far. (Usually they focus on Rex, whereas this one focuses on Fives, but Rex gets the message at the end and that leads into his actions in the series finale.) It’s fairly decent, but there are two main issues I sought to address:
Firstly, it’s written as a mystery story, presenting its main character (Fives) with many different possible answers - brainwashing, a virus, a tumour, the Jedi, the Kaminoans, etc - but within the first ten minutes of the original arc the mystery is spoiled for the audience by a cutaway that has the bad guys behind it all discussing exactly what it is. This takes a load of momentum out of the story. I’ve remedied this by removing all cutaways to villains explaining the plot, unless they’re acting non-villainous and just discussing the mystery as a mystery. This way, we only learn what Fives knows and what others propose as possibilities (plus the possibility that it’s innocent and Fives is also suffering a similar affliction), so it’s a mystery for the audience too. Only at the very end, after the plot is concluded, do the audience get to see that the Sith believe they’ve caught the Republic in a trap - which hangs over the series from there.
Secondly, there were a lot of unnecessary tangents, which took more momentum out. Tup is captured but then saved, Fives goes in and out of Tup’s room a lot, Fives gets captured and escapes, Fives leaves Tipoca city and returns - all of it just took away from the excitement of the investigation and his attempt to get what he learns to someone he trusts.
Now, the pacing is tight, the investigation is in focus, and the energy is high.
Noteworthy changes:
I’d appreciate reviews of this one, as it has a lot of moving parts.
Onwards to the Sifo-Dyas episode, which only needs one cut so should be a quick turnaround.
Man, I’m really nearing the end now. I count a maximum of nine episodes I need to make - perhaps ten if I add an optional full-length Siege of Mandalore - but only three of those require any real work. I should get two of those done this week, then the final one of season four hopefully two weeks later.
I still need to go back and polish a few episodes round the middle of my series, and respond to a couple of elements of feedback on the more recent episodes, but it’s awesome to feel so close to completion.
Just gauging interest - once I’m done, would anyone like to watch through this together over a period of weeks? I could either do it live so we could chat (round 8:30pm UK time, which is 3:30pm Eastern USA) or just make a regular post here to give us something to orbit around? Might be nice to do in the run-up to the Ahsoka show.
It’s not something that registered to me as a major issue that needs fixing, and I don’t have any knowledge about how to do it, but I’d incorporate clean alternate voice lines if anyone did the work to produce them.
The reason I was hoping it was possible was because Tim curry feels badly miscasted as palpatine his tone is right but the voice takes me out because I don’t hear palpatine I hear Tim curry.
It’s not something that registered to me as a major issue that needs fixing, and I don’t have any knowledge about how to do it, but I’d incorporate clean alternate voice lines if anyone did the work to produce them.
The reason I was hoping it was possible was because Tim curry feels badly miscasted as palpatine his tone is right but the voice takes me out because I don’t hear palpatine I hear Tim curry.
I get it; I just never registered it as being too noticeably different myself. It’s not something I have the skills for, but as I say, I’m happy to include it if given replacement lines.
Does anyone have the technology or similar to the technology lucasfilm used for Vader’s voice in kenobi and Luke in the mandalorean and book of boba fett?
This is a simple edit to The Lost One, which is normally treated as the first episode of the four-part Yoda’s Quest arc, but stands alone so I’m treating it as its own episode here.
Noteworthy changes:
Onwards to another episode which I should be able to turn around quickly.
Not technically an EddieDean release, because I’m just pointing you to the appropriate video on Youtube.
This is a very important episode, that many will have overlooked. It’s a canon story, intended as a Clone Wars episode, but released as a comic instead after the Clone Wars got originally cancelled.
It is a vital and exciting step in the Mauldalore plotline, taking us from Maul’s capture to his location in the series finale, as we learn why Sidious chose to spare Maul, and we see the conclusion of Mother Talzin’s presence in the Clone Wars. Plus there’s Mandalorians, jetpacks, and lots of villain-on-villain action. It’s great.
Audio Comics and The Lore Master on Youtube have adapted the material from its original comic format into what they call an ‘Audio Comic’, turning it into fully voice acted visual story, dynamically showing the panels from the comic and including Star Wars sound effects and music, to give us the most accessible and enjoyable version of this canon story. They do this for almost every Star Wars comic out there, and it’s incredible work.
Though it’s a non-commercial fan release, I did ask for permission to include it in my edit, though they didn’t reply. This is fairly moot, however, because I’ve been unable to access the file in my editing software, so have been unable to give it the usual TCW:R trappings. Since the episode is freely available online, I’ve decided to skip trying to fix that right now, and instead chosen to focus on the next episodes. I’ll see what I can do about this sometime in the future.
Onwards to our season four finale, Yoda’s Quest!
Working on Yoda’s Quest now. The original plays out as follows:
Like with Mortis, I’m not a big fan of being able to materially travel to spiritual locations, so I’d like at least to replace Yoda waking on Dagobah with Yoda waking within the force planet (there’s a perfect shot for this, and it skips his initial discussion with the force-emotion people, while keeping them present and more mysterious).
But then I have two options - Yoda can either awaken from the force planet ‘vision’ (when struck by Dooku) on Dagobah, then fly to Korriban for real, or the Korriban section can remain a vision also.
The advantage of having the Korriban sequence also be part of Yoda’s vision is that I can place the scene of Sidious and Dooku spotting an ‘opportunity’ earlier, so that the ‘tranquility’ Dooku’s strike is what draws him into the Korriban section of his journey. That’d work nicely, as there’s also a useful ‘Yoda opens his eyes on Korriban’ shot.
But the disadvantage there would be the (loose) implication that Sidious can access Yoda when he’s doing spiritual stuff in the Dagobah cave.
Actually, writing that, I’ve realised it’s moot - Sidious needs the Dooku connection (a drop of his blood) to intervene in Yoda’s quest, which he doesn’t have after the Clone Wars. No conflict. I think that’s better.
This is an excellent episode and the original (unintended) season finale of the show.
While fairly heavily restructured, I’ve only really made one significant change - turning the visits to the force-planet and Korriban (“Moraband”) into parts of Yoda’s vision in the Dagobah cave. The vast majority of the content is preserved this way, we just retain more mysticism by keeping these ‘locations’ more ambiguous. Korriban I didn’t have too much problem with being real, but (1) the force-planet beings appear there too, (2) Lots of spiritual stuff including another force vision (which takes Yoda to yet another place) happens there, and (3) the scenes back on Dagobah made a better bookend to the arc.
As I say though, all of the key beats are preserved, and any important mystical dialogue from a cut scene has found its way into another natural location.
Noteworthy changes:
Onwards to another episode which I should be able to turn around quickly.
And that’s-
Wow EddieDean! Great Work! Another Season done! 😄 So keen to see what comes next! 😄
Amazing work!
I just looked and saw your first post was less than two years ago. This is one hell of an accomplishment in that time!