Originally posted by: ricarleite
Cut scene from ROTJ:
Mon Calamari: "Now, this mission will have two teams. One team, leaded by Lando Calrisian, will atack the Death Star in a suicidal mission in which almost everyone will likely perish in flames.I kid you not, some of you might not come back. And the rest of you REALLY won't come back. The last time we battled a Death Star, only three came back, Luke, Wedge, and this other guy. Battling a huge Death Star with only X-wings and Y-wings and A-wings is a real death sentence itself.
The other team, leaded by Han Solo, will go to the Endor moon, with a nice climate and a beautiful jungle, camp there for a night, singing songs and eating marshmellows, and then proceed with a morning walk to the place where the shield generator is. There, they will place the explosives, walk away, and await for it to explode. They don't even have to fight their way into the planet, because some stupid Bothans died to bring this old code that allows anyone to land there - and don't worry, no one will go check the ship after it lands, so you may just walk away after the landing.
Now, to sort out the teams, those of you who want to go to with Lando remain seated. Those of you who want to go with Captain Solo, get up now."
* Everyone gets up *
Mon Calamari: "Oh, yes, I forgot to mention. On the Endor moon, live the cute and furry little Ewok creatures..."
* Everyone gets down *
Lando: "Ha ha, Han old buddy, I didn't know you enjoyed Ewoks humping up on your leg."
Han: "Oh you piece of s(BEEP)t!!! *Fights Lando* Come here and fight like a f(BEEP)ing man you c(BEEP)t!"
Mon Calamari: "Gentleman you cannot fight here, this is the star war room! It's a trap!"
Cut scene from ROTJ:
Mon Calamari: "Now, this mission will have two teams. One team, leaded by Lando Calrisian, will atack the Death Star in a suicidal mission in which almost everyone will likely perish in flames.I kid you not, some of you might not come back. And the rest of you REALLY won't come back. The last time we battled a Death Star, only three came back, Luke, Wedge, and this other guy. Battling a huge Death Star with only X-wings and Y-wings and A-wings is a real death sentence itself.
The other team, leaded by Han Solo, will go to the Endor moon, with a nice climate and a beautiful jungle, camp there for a night, singing songs and eating marshmellows, and then proceed with a morning walk to the place where the shield generator is. There, they will place the explosives, walk away, and await for it to explode. They don't even have to fight their way into the planet, because some stupid Bothans died to bring this old code that allows anyone to land there - and don't worry, no one will go check the ship after it lands, so you may just walk away after the landing.
Now, to sort out the teams, those of you who want to go to with Lando remain seated. Those of you who want to go with Captain Solo, get up now."
* Everyone gets up *
Mon Calamari: "Oh, yes, I forgot to mention. On the Endor moon, live the cute and furry little Ewok creatures..."
* Everyone gets down *
Lando: "Ha ha, Han old buddy, I didn't know you enjoyed Ewoks humping up on your leg."
Han: "Oh you piece of s(BEEP)t!!! *Fights Lando* Come here and fight like a f(BEEP)ing man you c(BEEP)t!"
Mon Calamari: "Gentleman you cannot fight here, this is the star war room! It's a trap!"
Brilliant! That was so funny!