Sorta agree. The base idea of the Jedi initially being sent to settle the feud between the Gungans and Naboo is an interesting idea, and could help tie together their cooperation at the end a lot better… but the Federation should be an established presence too.
Some suggestions:
The crawl needs a few more drafts imo. Alongside setting the Federation up as taking the Naboo v Gungan Crisis as an opportunity, it needs a few more drafts for the grammar and the like.
One thing that’d need new VFX is a proper pandown of the planet. Perhaps it can show the blockade arriving from hyperspace or something (if I had a good model of the donut ships, I could probably mock something up), before transitioning to the scene of the Jedi swimming to the Gungan city (removing that first shot of the Bongo, since I feel it was more confusing than anything else).
Better yet, said shot of the Federation arriving could be before the scene in the Queen’s throne room, suddenly throwing a wrench into the equation, while simultaneously properly setting the Federation up instead of them just kinda… appearing.
Some personal things: I’d remove the line from Panaka about the Federation needing Padme to sign a treaty, I think the bearded guy’s “They wouldn’t dare!” is enough, and Panaka’s line is pretty clunky. I’d also cut down the whole “Where are you taking them?” “To Coruscant” part.
Otherwise, this has gotta be my favorite of the proposed alternate openings. Definitely a creative idea.
Also gotta say, I love the addition of the Vulture Droids soaring overhead tipping the Jedi off about the invasion. I genuinely had to go back to see if they were in the original film or not.
Sorry about the grammar, I have a habit of throwing in commas at random, regardless of what language I’m typing.
In regards to the establishing shot of the invasion army, I‘d be glad if someone could help me with that.
The idea behind the bongo in the first shot was actually to substitute the classic opening shot as it looks like space ship anyway. That‘s also why I’m fading between the starfield moving up and the underwater scenery, the idea was to make the upwards moving stars look like bubbles. Maybe I have to extend the shot before the bongo appears and add some real air bubbles.
Also I could rotoscope the bongo passing above Jar Jar and the Jedi towards the city, if that helps.
Leaving the opening as it is and removing the federation ships blockading the planet might be another option to open the movie and a more star-warsy one add that, but I’m really not keen on the roto work.
And I simply like the underwater opening better as it is essentially the Star Wars formula, but with a small twist.
I really like your suggestions for the hangar scenes and will definitely play Amarion’s with them.
Regarding the vulture droids fly by, I originally wanted to include a short reaction from Jar Jar, but I couldn’t find anything that worked.