This is a case of a joke in the fandom becoming a genuine talking point and criticism I think, one based on little, or very circumstantial evidence, that then seems to become a predominant idea which is held as almighty truth by some because it is reinforced by memes and jokes. (Again, my two cents on this.)
Kinda like how the Trek fandom has painted Kirk as a swinger when that really wasn’t how he was portrayed in TOS at all.