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OLD BEN: An Obi-Wan Kenobi Fan Edit [ABANDONED] — Page 5

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 (Edited)

Wow!!! That is so utterly fantastic! Great work ^_^

My one comment is that it seems unclear initially that Leia is on the same planet as Obi-Wan, so when he starts asking about her it feels a little strange. Other than that, wow - I am so excited to see where this goes! If you ever need visual effects done, feel free to reach out!

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NFB, I’m really impressed with your creativity, and a lot of this works really well.

Having Ben leave Tatooine is a really bold idea. But having him loop back into helping Leia is tricky for sure. One of those things that could have worked if it was written that way, but proves an issue through fan editing. I’m still not sure the leap from Ben on his own to helping Leia is quite working.

Here’s an idea I had though. Since you have Ben on Tatooine as a little prologue by itself, and you’re already jumping perspective after the title card, what if you took it further? What if after the title card, you let the Leia storyline play out up until her capture. Then we cut to Kenobi on the ring world, and he senses her kidnapping? That way it doesn’t feel as if Ben has his vision straight after leaving, like in your last version, and he doesn’t have the coincidence of being on Daiyu already like in the new version. And we don’t have the somewhat random cutting back and forth between storylines of the original show.

Speaking of shifting perspectives, I’m not sure the Vader stuff is working for me yet. I really like how you cut that first scene with him, but it feels like a non sequitur with the surrounding scenes, especially because there’s no dialogue in it. I wonder if you could include the Reva hologram and try to incorporate it into that part of the story? With Vader masked and Reva’s back to the camera in a few shots, there’s some room to play with dialogue replacement to make the scene fit. The later scene of Vader is a fun reuse of that scene, although I wonder if it raises the question of why isn’t he on Daiyu?

Also, love the way you’ve descored things, gives a very different feel. Your use of new music works well too (love bringing back the Fallen Order Inquistor theme), although I’d be careful about using music with themes that don’t match what’s on screen, for example, the scene of Ben digging up the sabers and Luke sleeping, while the music fits, I just know straight away that that’s the Guardians of the Whills theme.

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WOW! I definitely wish the actual series had been more like this. I am loving this cut so far and the refocus on Obi Wan. He now seems like the protagonist of his own story which I felt was lost in the original series. The rough thirty minute cut was magic; can’t wait to see the final product. I “will watch your career with great interest!”

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^^ thanks guys! i try. maybe too hard lmao

DominicCobb said:
Having Ben leave Tatooine is a really bold idea. But having him loop back into helping Leia is tricky for sure. One of those things that could have worked if it was written that way, but proves an issue through fan editing. I’m still not sure the leap from Ben on his own to helping Leia is quite working.

Here’s an idea I had though. Since you have Ben on Tatooine as a little prologue by itself, and you’re already jumping perspective after the title card, what if you took it further? What if after the title card, you let the Leia storyline play out up until her capture. Then we cut to Kenobi on the ring world, and he senses her kidnapping? That way it doesn’t feel as if Ben has his vision straight after leaving, like in your last version, and he doesn’t have the coincidence of being on Daiyu already like in the new version. And we don’t have the somewhat random cutting back and forth between storylines of the original show.

Coincidence aside though, I do feel like Obi-Wan on Daiyu first de-emphasizes the leap a bit? I’m not married to it just yet, but idk, I can buy that Obi-Wan would at least take a look around if he sensed she was on the planet. He can be disillusioned about himself without being completely indifferent to Leia’s fate. The nature of the setpieces on Daiyu also lend itself to the idea that Ben is not doing this as a dutiful Jedi guardian, but merely as “just a man” (as Flea says) who cares for this little girl.

It was harder to reconcile when he was willing to travel planets to get to Leia - not to mention still so in tune with the Force as to sense that distance - but him [reluctantly] scoping it out because why not and becoming invested when things work out, doesn’t really contradict the previous character beat. It’s a huge coincidence but I think it’s one of the few options from my initial choice on Tatooine that can work with it thematically. We could just chalk it up to the Will Of The Force! The coincidence as the call to action itself.

Daiyu’s imagery as symbolic of his spiritual decay feels neat too. This context gives the initial meandering around Daiyu more specific emotional meaning than just establishing a tone and setting. He chose this by leaving Luke, this is all he has to look forward to.

Re: Alderaan, I could still do that even with the coincidental Daiyu - but I’m hesitant to start integrating them because I think it interrupts the tone I want to achieve. The few WIP attempts I have at least, don’t feel great. Trying to match it with the preceding material using the de-score only feel disingenuous to what those scenes are meant to evoke. Not to mention Ben sensing it then feels redundant and indulgent, and there’s only so many ways for Ben to become involved without a call from Bail.

Speaking of shifting perspectives, I’m not sure the Vader stuff is working for me yet. I really like how you cut that first scene with him, but it feels like a non sequitur with the surrounding scenes, especially because there’s no dialogue in it. I wonder if you could include the Reva hologram and try to incorporate it into that part of the story? With Vader masked and Reva’s back to the camera in a few shots, there’s some room to play with dialogue replacement to make the scene fit. The later scene of Vader is a fun reuse of that scene, although I wonder if it raises the question of why isn’t he on Daiyu?

Yeah, that Reva idea is another one I have in WIPs. I’ve definitely been able to play around with the dialogue, I’ll post a clip tomorrow maybe, but unless I make Reva the puppeteer of Leia’s abduction again (which I’m not opposed to fwiw), the scene would feel like a non-sequitur to its surrounding scenes either way.

I do agree that it’s not there yet, but I think having him around this early, and affected by the past paralleled with Obi-Wan, does a lot in subliminally grounding the edit in their relationship guilt. It’s the strongest part of where the show’s narrative resolves IMO, so I want to keep it front of mind throughout, informing all of Vader and Kenobi’s decisions.

Also, love the way you’ve descored things, gives a very different feel. Your use of new music works well too (love bringing back the Fallen Order Inquistor theme), although I’d be careful about using music with themes that don’t match what’s on screen, for example, the scene of Ben digging up the sabers and Luke sleeping, while the music fits, I just know straight away that that’s the Guardians of the Whills theme.

That’s fair haha. I did try to make the themes fit as much as I could, for what it’s worth. The Whills theme, on top of sounding like Across the Stars meets Binary Sunset, I even figured had a name that was Jedi/Force relationship adjacent, which arguably and vaguely describes Obi-Wan’s Not Quite A Practicing Jedi state. It’s… a stretch lol, but I have been aware.


To be honest, I don’t expect to find perfect solutions, it’s all very give and take, but it’s not like the original material is not without its own logical flaws and missteps. (otherwise why edit) If I’m fixing some of those and replacing them with others, at least I’m expressing my own sensibilities and limits with that kind of thing. I want this be technically sound and seamless of course, but from a story perspective, I can let some things go if it’s more in line with the story I want to convey

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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I really love where this is going. IMO, the idea of him going to Diayu really works well.

If I may, a couple thoughts:

  • What if the Leia vision starts coming on him in a couple of flashes while he’s in the streets, then he goes to the warehouse to seek clarity? That way, it bridges the gap a bit.

  • Also, as far as the vision itself goes…this is just a nitpick, but the foley feels a bit too crisp, especially given the effects of how visions are used in the prequels. What about adding a bit of echo? And one last thing…what’s your reasoning for ending the vision on that lingering shot of ROTS Obi? For me, it feels like it would be more fitting to finish the vision either on the babies, Padme, or Anakin, since it’s feels more like the Force is connecting his memories with these events across the galaxy.

  • I’m personally of the opinion that you’re on the right track not bringing Leia in until this point, honestly. It keeps the audience’s perspective with Obi-Wan, and I think that’s actually pretty crucial.

  • The placement of the moment on the star destroyer with the Grand Inquisitor/Vader didn’t quite work for me; would you mind clarifying your rationale for putting it there? I think the knowledge that they were chasing someone was just a bit confusing.

I eagerly await what happens next in your cut! The tone is AWESOME.

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I saw the 30 min video. I find it a bit confusing, I don’t understood why Obi-Wan left Tatooine. Things happened too fast without an explanation.

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Lifeincontext said:

  • The placement of the moment on the star destroyer with the Grand Inquisitor/Vader didn’t quite work for me; would you mind clarifying your rationale for putting it there? I think the knowledge that they were chasing someone was just a bit confusing.

Alright, I took a crack at getting rid of the chase elements so they’re just standing on the bridge. The GI’s dialogue has also been trimmed to now refer to a more general, broad search, rather than a specific pursuit of insurgents.

Basically, I wanted to keep Vader and Obi-Wan’s Cat & Mouse as a main driving force for the edit, and I figured this scene was the best way in that vein to get the Empire and Reva to Daiyu. (Since she never orchestrated the kidnapping here). Dom asked why Vader then wouldn’t be on the planet himself, and I’m currently brainstorming how I can make it so that Vader actually follows Obi-Wan and Leia to Mapuzo himself. It was already their first confrontation in-show, and I think would help to sell how far below Vader the Inquisitors are. Maybe it’s my ESB bias, but the Vader I like is methodical and pragmatic.

But yeah, I found it was easy to “forget” that Anakin and Obi-Wan had unfinished business to resolve in the midst of all the other things going on in the show. Obviously it’s always still in the back of our minds, but it’s on hold often, and Obi-Wan’s arc feels mostly independent of Anakin, save for the two times they meet. I’m trying to make them co-leads as much as possible here. It was the purpose of the first perspective shift.

snooker said:
My one comment is that it seems unclear initially that Leia is on the same planet as Obi-Wan, so when he starts asking about her it feels a little strange. Other than that, wow - I am so excited to see where this goes! If you ever need visual effects done, feel free to reach out!

Does this help? I added an extra shot of Daiyu (earlier shot reversed, and erased the transport flying to it) and replaced the transition music so the scenes feel more smoothly connected.

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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OT member Phase3 had a wonderful suggestion for altering the final duel in the Kenobi series so that we don’t end on Obi-Wan’s baffling choice to let Vader live. The basic idea is to move the burying obi-wan in rocks to the very end of the duel so that after Kenobi walks away from Vader with a sliced helmet, he screams out “Obi-Wan” then cracks the ground with the force, proceeding to bury Obi-Wan, walk away from the fight the victor. Then Obi-Wan climbs out and the fight is over.

If we can make this work, I think it would make the duel even more amazing than it already is (I quite enjoyed the fight outside of the nonsensical ending where Obi-Wan lets Vader live).

I created a mock-up of this idea. The changes so far:

-Reversing the flow of Kenobi retreating so it links smoothly to the later part of the duel.
-Flip shot of ground breaking for visual continuity.
-Removed Vader’s line “And that is why you will always lose” as he breaks the ground, rough sfx replaced (can be polished later)
-Cropped out vader of wide shot of ground breaking for visual continuity.
-Removed vader’s line “Did you really think you could defeat me?” after he buries him.
-Rearranged shots of Vader walking away for better flow

The one key change remaining to tie this whole idea together is somehow changing the final shots of the rock burying so that Vader’s helmet is still sliced in half. I don’t know who would have the special effects skills to do this but perhaps a community effort would achieve this.

Mock-up of the rearranged duel: https://streamable.com/myzuo3

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