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Post #1494369

Author
Darth Muffy
Parent topic
Spence's Obi-Wan Kenobi (V3 Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1494369/action/topic#1494369
Date created
12-Jul-2022, 6:43 AM

SpenceEdit said:

Hey! Thanks, there’s some really great feedback here.

Octorox said:

So I finally got a chance to sit down and watch V2. Overall I think it’s a big improvement, and as close to a perfect “movie length” rendition as you can get. That said, I do still have some quibbles. In particular, I think there are a few lines and scenes where either a setup or payoff is removed, so they don’t land as well as they should. I feel like 5-10 more minutes of breathing room, which would put the overall length in the ballpark of The Last Jedi, would really be the sweet spot.

The goal was always under 2 and a half hours, so I do have a bit of wiggle room.

Octorox said:
-When Leia tells her father that “she’s not a real Organa”, we no longer have the context of it being something Leia was told by her cousin that she internalized. In this new context, it seems like it was Leia’s original thought, which imo doesn’t quite add up. I personally don’t mind Leia’s precocious reading of her cousin because I interpreted it as an example of her latent Force ability. I wonder if there’s any way you could reinstate some of that scene, at least enough to get the original context of the line back.

In all honesty, I tried to get through it all as briefly as possible, as the only scene in that whole Leia intro that’s really essential is her conversation with Bail. I may have overcorrected. I’ll play with it.

Octorox said:
-when Reva stabs the Grand Inquisitor in the chest, she says “who’s in the gutter now?” Unfortunately the original line spoken to Reva by the Grand Inquisitor about “finding her in the gutter” has been cut, so this no longer makes much sense. It’s repeated by The Grand Inquisitor again at the end, and there it feels like it’s calling back to something that we no longer hear.

-In Fortress Inquisitorius, Tala says something to the effect of “what are they hiding down there” but we no longer have the payoff of the Jedi tomb scene. I would just trim this line out if possible.

Both of these things have already been corrected for the next version.

Octorox said:
-Tala’s death feels like it carries significantly less weight without her relaying her full history with the Empire in a heart to heart with Obi-Wan. Her character has a reduced presence overall, and while I think you were smart to cut a lot of the antics in the Fortress Inquisitorius, I feel like this scene should have stayed.

-When we see Leia dress up with her boots and holster at the end, it no longer mirrors her introductory scene. I was glad you reinstated her scene in the woods but I still missed this parallel, which showed the character’s growth in how she feels about her role as a representative of Alderaan.

Respectfully, I think these scenes feel like their missing only because you know they exist. If we weren’t aware they existed, it wouldn’t feel off to not include them. That’s my justification for it anyway.

Octorox said:
-In this cut, the fact that Reva is behind Leia’s kidnapping is now revealed when Obi-Wan learns it. I think this is a smart change, but I wonder if something about the score or the editing could be tweaked to really underline the fact that this is a reveal to the audience.

Maybe a more dramatic musical beat here? That could help.

Octorox said:
-At around 1 hours and 37 minutes in, Roken mouths a line but it can’t be heard. I assume this is just an editing mistake.

Not sure what happened on that one. I’ll look at it.

Octorox said:

-Obi-Wan digs up his and Anakin’s lightsabers: I would like to see if this scene could be incorporated without intercutting it with Reva. It’s a nice call forward to the saber’s final resting place in Rise of Skywalker
-Obi-Wan sees a Clone Wars vet begging on the street (this is so short that I can’t imagine it would significantly impact the runtime to reinstate it)

Yeah, I miss that scene too. I feel like it kind of needs to be there. Maybe just that bit with a new musical queue? Could be a good opportunity to throw some classic JW in there.

Octorox said:
-Haja’s whole “Fake Jedi” dog and pony show. I feel like his status as a huckster doesn’t quite land as clearly in this edit.

Personally, I think we got enough of him being silly and using the magnets to sell it. That portion of the movie needs to move at a higher pace, so I don’t see this going back in.

Octorox said:
-For whatever reason, I felt the absence of Obi-Wan packing up his stuff in his cave at the end. I really liked the symbolic aspect of him getting a fresh start by moving to a new home.

This is (partially) added back in for the next version.

Octorox said:

-In the scene where Reva explains that she put a tracker on Kenobi’s ship, I feel like you can cut after Vader says “it seems I have underestimated you”. Maybe end on a self-assured looking reaction shot of Reva if possible. The scene feels a little too drawn out right now, especially since you’ve cut most other bickering between the Inquisitors.

This is a great suggestion. I’ll see if I can make it work.

Octorox said:
Also I felt like there were a couple other instances where familiar JW themes could have been used:
-I wanted to hear the leitmotif from Battle of the Heroes somewhere. I feel like there are a couple callbacks to that fateful duel where it could have been slotted in. Not the full choir, just a few notes.
-it would have been nice to hear Qui-Gon’s theme when he finally appears.
-As for OT themes, I think you could have used The Rebel Fanfare when the T-47s come to the rescue, and Luke’s theme when Obi-Wan finally gets to meet him. For all of these themes, I would use just a hint and not the most forceful statement. There are quite a few bits of score in the saga films where they are used more subtly.

I actually tried a couple of those, the biggest issue is the muddy center channel. I’d have to rebuild a lot of sound effects to make these work. Though I do feel like we, at minimum, need another Williams track or two in there.

Thanks again for the detailed notes!

Quality edit overall Spence, Octorox summarized most of what I felt and I completely agree with your comments here, also adding a crawl was mentioned in a post here but feel title crawls are only needed for the main movies and not so much for the A Star Wars Story films.
My additions would be:

  • More John Williams score throughout
  • Adding back the stormtroopers on the truck at Mapuzo but with a wipe to show time has passed before they get off.
  • Cutting the wide shots at the trooper checkpoint to not show the massive gaps at the sides making the lazer gate redundant.
  • Adding Obi vs Anakin flashbacks and splitting it to dream sequence on Tatioone & in backer tanks.
  • Axing the fortress completely and making it seem Leia is in a more local rebal base on Mapuzo.

Have you looked at kai pattersons kenobi edit as he has some really good ideas you might want to consider using.

https://ew.com/tv/obi-wan-kenobi-fan-edit-turns-series-into-movie/