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Post #1493476

Author
SpenceEdit
Parent topic
Spence's Obi-Wan Kenobi (V4 Final Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1493476/action/topic#1493476
Date created
7-Jul-2022, 7:25 AM

tampopo said:

  • The scene where Haja sees Obi Wan’s bounty could replace the scene where Obi Wan sees the bounty. The substitution would ground the threat with a character we know & know to be untrustworthy, add tension because Obi Wan is unaware, explain how Haja appeared out of nowhere, and keep the pace up.
  • Some scenes with Tala (hiding outside in in the village) should be reinstated, as the plan explaining the transport was less clear. Additionally, with less padding (e.g. the stormtrooper inspection) the time of day more noticeably shifts to night – would there be a way to play with the lighting?
  • Roken feels dropped-in, especially given his later importance. His introductory scene is important to detailing The Path & who he is in it, and has some salvageable moments – maybe cut after Obi Wan’s plea, show Roken looking conflicted, and then immediately cut to them planning their break-in.
  • If there is a way to cut around Reva parrying the speeder bolts, that would be great
  • Qui-Gon disappears from the narrative before suddenly reappearing. Maybe reinstating some of Obi Wan talking to his lightsaber (e.g. somewhere by the evasive maneuvers) could smooth this out
  • The location & music transition from the duel in the open to the duel among the rocks is fairly noticeable
  • Maybe reinstate the establishing shot where Obi Wan’s ship flies to Tatooine

Either way, very impressed with this edit, especially the quick turnaround on it

  1. I honestly just don’t agree on the Haja scene. I would rather establish that Kenobi knows about the bounty, and save Haja as a surprise. It makes logical sense that if we saw a ton of people receive the bounty, he saw it too.

  2. Again, not real worried about “the plan” stuff, as she almost immediately explains that the path “all leads to Jabim” and shows them the tunnel. It’s pretty clear what they’re doing. The lighting thing is a good point, but also something that happens naturally in the episode itself. I’ll take a look at the prior scenes that are outside.

  3. The Roken introduction was something I wrestled with. Personally I think it works as is, but if the general consensus is it needs to go back in then I’ll probably do it.

  4. There isn’t a particularly smooth way to do that, and it’s not something that bothers me.

  5. Yeah I did notice Qui-Gon doesn’t really come up again. At this point, I don’t really remember what was cut. I wouldn’t mind one more mention of him being reinstated.

  6. I tried that transition probably 20 different ways, and that was as smooth as I could get it. I might be able to further tweak the audio, but there isn’t anything else to cut to.

  7. I don’t personally feel that this is needed.

Thank you for the detailed feedback, I’ll definitely take it all under advisement!