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OLD BEN: An Obi-Wan Kenobi Fan Edit [ABANDONED] — Page 3

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CMMAP said:

I think it defeats the purpose of the line in EP IV. Therefore he would’ve been the victor of the last encounter which defeats „…i was but the learner…“. So it’s wether a question of canon or non-canon editing.

I’ve thought about that; Disney have thrown canon in the garbage simply by having Obi-Wan and Vader encounter each other in this series (but that’s a different complaint haha!).

During the second confrontation, Vader says “Did you truly think that you could defeat me? You have failed, Master”.
He still refers to Obi-Wan as ‘Master’, so Vader’s line in ANH about previously being a learner is still valid.

My edits:
https://ifdb.fanedit.org/fanedit-search/tag/faneditorname/phase3/

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Kaweebo said:

There’s ways to interpret that, though it would be better if there was a shot of an injured Vader walking back to his ship to really sell the point that he barely survived the encounter and needed to fix his suit, to the point of not even doing a confirm kill on Obi-Wan under the rubble (maybe you could add his hard breathing during shots of Vader walking to give the idea that he’s struggling). Combine that with the escape on Jabiim, assuming that’s still going to be part of this edit (emphasized by the flashback sequence showing that he still is being taught by Kenobi even now), and there’s certainly enough there to give the impression that Vader considered himself a learner in this scenario.

It makes Obi-Wan being stuck under the rocks a move out of desperation rather than a true final pin on their confrontation. Because the alternative is what happens in the show where Vader just assumes he killed Obi-Wan and foolishly goes to leave the planet, making him look incompetent as he seems to consistently give Kenobi ‘outs’ to escape; once on Mapuzo and once here.

I 100% agree with you! If it’s okay with you, can I use your idea of a shot of Vader walking back to his shuttle, with audio of him struggling to breathe?

Cheers,

My edits:
https://ifdb.fanedit.org/fanedit-search/tag/faneditorname/phase3/

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Phase3 said:

Kaweebo said:

There’s ways to interpret that, though it would be better if there was a shot of an injured Vader walking back to his ship to really sell the point that he barely survived the encounter and needed to fix his suit, to the point of not even doing a confirm kill on Obi-Wan under the rubble (maybe you could add his hard breathing during shots of Vader walking to give the idea that he’s struggling). Combine that with the escape on Jabiim, assuming that’s still going to be part of this edit (emphasized by the flashback sequence showing that he still is being taught by Kenobi even now), and there’s certainly enough there to give the impression that Vader considered himself a learner in this scenario.

It makes Obi-Wan being stuck under the rocks a move out of desperation rather than a true final pin on their confrontation. Because the alternative is what happens in the show where Vader just assumes he killed Obi-Wan and foolishly goes to leave the planet, making him look incompetent as he seems to consistently give Kenobi ‘outs’ to escape; once on Mapuzo and once here.

I 100% agree with you! If it’s okay with you, can I use your idea of a shot of Vader walking back to his shuttle, with audio of him struggling to breathe?

Cheers,

You don’t need my permission, I’m just bouncing ideas off of what you came up with lol

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I don’t know if someone already brought this up in the edits of this site, but I have an idea about making the imperial cruiser chasing the rebels ship less silly, right before the second Vader vs Kenobi fight.

You can just cut the supposed hyperdrive problem entirely, and make Obi-Wan wanting to confront Vader just because he wants to resolve this personal conflict with Anakin (this is somewhat confirmed by his conversation with Roken). To accomplish that, I think that would be necessary just to cut most of the chase sequence, and insert a shot of the rebels ship entering the light speed right after Obi-Wan’s ship has launched. You could even relocate part of the drama with Obi-Wan and Leia about he being left behind for when they are leaving the planet, i.e. right after Reva being stabbed by Vader but before the beginning of the chase sequence in space.

This way, you make the Empire less incompetent for not sending tie fighters after the rebels ship, since they would have escaped too fast after they leave the orbit of the planet.

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Sirius said:

I don’t know if someone already brought this up in the edits of this site, but I have an idea about making the imperial cruiser chasing the rebels ship less silly, right before the second Vader vs Kenobi fight.

You can just cut the supposed hyperdrive problem entirely, and make Obi-Wan wanting to confront Vader just because he wants to resolve this personal conflict with Anakin (this is somewhat confirmed by his conversation with Roken). To accomplish that, I think that would be necessary just to cut most of the chase sequence, and insert a shot of the rebels ship entering the light speed right after Obi-Wan’s ship has launched. You could even relocate part of the drama with Obi-Wan and Leia about he being left behind for when they are leaving the planet, i.e. right after Reva being stabbed by Vader but before the beginning of the chase sequence in space.

This way, you make the Empire less incompetent for not sending tie fighters after the rebels ship, since they would have escaped too fast after they leave the orbit of the planet.

This sounds great to me!

My edits:
https://ifdb.fanedit.org/fanedit-search/tag/faneditorname/phase3/

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If you have any more general ideas for an edit, there is a more general redux thread for the show. I’m still just trying to break the first act of my personal edit here lol. Not that I don’t appreciate anyone trying to help, but I do have more specific goals than being everyone’s else’s wishlist. I do read that thread and if any of those ideas appeal to me, I’ll reference it here as I fold them in

Otherwise, I might be bowing out until I have a bit more to show. thanks for understanding

DominicCobb said:

Miche said:

NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role. I personally found her as stuck up, ill headed, guetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time.

Assuming “guetto” is a typo for what I think it is, kindly fuck off from this site. We don’t need your kind here.

^^^^^

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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Sirius said:

I don’t know if someone already brought this up in the edits of this site, but I have an idea about making the imperial cruiser chasing the rebels ship less silly, right before the second Vader vs Kenobi fight.

You can just cut the supposed hyperdrive problem entirely, and make Obi-Wan wanting to confront Vader just because he wants to resolve this personal conflict with Anakin (this is somewhat confirmed by his conversation with Roken). To accomplish that, I think that would be necessary just to cut most of the chase sequence, and insert a shot of the rebels ship entering the light speed right after Obi-Wan’s ship has launched. You could even relocate part of the drama with Obi-Wan and Leia about he being left behind for when they are leaving the planet, i.e. right after Reva being stabbed by Vader but before the beginning of the chase sequence in space.

This way, you make the Empire less incompetent for not sending tie fighters after the rebels ship, since they would have escaped too fast after they leave the orbit of the planet.

This would be good.

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NFBisms said:

If you have any more general ideas for an edit, there is a more general redux thread for the show. I’m still just trying to break the first act of my personal edit here lol. Not that I don’t appreciate anyone trying to help, but I do have more specific goals than being everyone’s else’s wishlist. I do read that thread and if any of those ideas appeal to me, I’ll reference it here as I fold them in

Otherwise, I might be bowing out until I have a bit more to show. thanks for understanding

DominicCobb said:

Miche said:

NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role. I personally found her as stuck up, ill headed, guetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time.

Assuming “guetto” is a typo for what I think it is, kindly fuck off from this site. We don’t need your kind here.

^^^^^

Definitely true. Personally I think this is because your edit seems like the most promising right now so people are latching onto it.

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This edit is shaping up to be a really terrific interpretation of the Obi-Wan story! I can’t wait for its release!

Having watched the preview with the Inquisitors, I found the sudden appearance of the Grand Inquisitor in the saloon too abrupt - jarringly so. Also, the spatial logic of our characters’ placement becomes confused; we see the ship’s shadow pass over Obi-Wan’s face, and yet we then have cutaways to Obi-Wan during the confrontation in the saloon implying that he can see these events. But given the lack of any establishing shot that places Obi-Wan near the saloon, and the ship’s shadow implying that Obi-Wan is further away from the saloon (as the ship did not park straight outside), it feels very odd and unnatural to this viewer.

My suggestion would be:

1.) Retain the Inquisitors’ march from the ship to the saloon; it serves as an effective introduction to these characters, and the slower pace that it creates is more in-keeping with the BB/BCS sensibility.
2.) Remove all Owen and Ben cutaways during the saloon confrontation. These feel clumsy and introduce spatial illogic; besides, when we cut to Owen and Ben looking up at the hanged Jedi afterwards, and when Owen says to Ben to “keep his distance” (genius!), we gain their observations on the saloon events here and achieve all that we need in terms of character motivation.
3.) Allow the Grand Inquisitor’s speech to play out in full (again, very in-keeping with BB/BCS) before cutting away when Reva kills the fugitive Jedi (a master stroke!).

Just my two cents; this edit really is going to be something special though, the editing choices are incredibly clever (love the new opening, and the transition from the toy being gifted to the toy being thrown back at Obi-Wan - really great stuff!).

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 (Edited)

Taking a break for a bit, I’ll leave off with some of this:

How Obi-Wan Leaves Tatooine

Not anything new, really. Just the most up to date revision of this sequence, with some help from RogueLeader and jkimm. I’m going to try to make the Inquisitor sequence in this way work for as long as I can, until it’s clear no one likes it, but for now I think it works better than I had started with it. It’s not flawless, but I’m hoping I can smooth it out in some way.

New Establishing Shots on Ringworld Before Force Vision

RogueLeader’s suggestion of using the Ringworld from BOBF (The Mandalorian) to suggest some passage of time.

Daiyu Entrance

Obi-Wan’s entrance into Daiyu, de-scored and re-sound designed. A bit darker and seedier in tone. I’m a big fan of the dreary Wong-kar Wai aesthetic and while something like that wouldn’t fit here, I wanted to lean into the setting a bit more and evoke some of the same neon city loneliness in a crowd.

Daiyu Brawl De-Scored

My crack at taking the score out of this hallway fight, and re-foleying all the sound effects. I like a lot of this episode for how un-Jedi the setting and a lot of how Obi-Wan navigates it is. In lieu of having Obi-Wan verbalizing all his rejection of The Fight, this stuff paired with all the tired expression and hiding communicates all we need to know about where Obi-Wan is at psychologically. I wanted to lean into the griminess by removing all the “exciting” action music, and focusing more on the visceral sounds of the brawl.


As far as the rest of Daiyu and future plans, I’m still breaking how I want to approach Haja and how I’m going to officially and organically introduce Reva as a player. And we’re only 20 minutes in at this point, which leaves a lot of room for the quieter moments between Leia and Obi-Wan I want to keep in. I’m probably skipping episode 4 too.

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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NFBisms said:

If you have any more general ideas for an edit, there is a more general redux thread for the show. I’m still just trying to break the first act of my personal edit here lol. Not that I don’t appreciate anyone trying to help, but I do have more specific goals than being everyone’s else’s wishlist. I do read that thread and if any of those ideas appeal to me, I’ll reference it here as I fold them in

Otherwise, I might be bowing out until I have a bit more to show. thanks for understanding

DominicCobb said:

Miche said:

NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role. I personally found her as stuck up, ill headed, guetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time.

Assuming “guetto” is a typo for what I think it is, kindly fuck off from this site. We don’t need your kind here.

^^^^^

I understand, sorry about that.

About the new clips, the only thing that I think that doesn’t fit too much is the Luke zoom angle while Obi-Wan is watching over him at night. Without this Luke shot, we continue to stick with Ben’s perspective since the beginning, making he being the eyes of the audience and making us being more in his shoes. Just my two cents though.

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NFBisms said:

If you have any more general ideas for an edit, there is a more general redux thread for the show. I’m still just trying to break the first act of my personal edit here lol. Not that I don’t appreciate anyone trying to help, but I do have more specific goals than being everyone’s else’s wishlist. I do read that thread and if any of those ideas appeal to me, I’ll reference it here as I fold them in

Agreed. Most of us are here because of the unique approach you’ve taken. The comments should focus on what you’ve released and avoid directing you where to go. It’s your vision after all.

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DominicCobb said:

Miche said:

NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role. I personally found her as stuck up, ill headed, guetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time.

Assuming “guetto” is a typo for what I think it is, kindly fuck off from this site. We don’t need your kind here.

+1

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jkimm said:

NFBisms said:

If you have any more general ideas for an edit, there is a more general redux thread for the show. I’m still just trying to break the first act of my personal edit here lol. Not that I don’t appreciate anyone trying to help, but I do have more specific goals than being everyone’s else’s wishlist. I do read that thread and if any of those ideas appeal to me, I’ll reference it here as I fold them in

Agreed. Most of us are here because of the unique approach you’ve taken. The comments should focus on what you’ve released and avoid directing you where to go. It’s your vision after all.

👍🙏

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 (Edited)

DominicCobb said:

Miche said:

NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role. I personally found her as stuck up, ill headed, guetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time.

Assuming “guetto” is a typo for what I think it is, kindly fuck off from this site. We don’t need your kind here.

What do you mean? Your clearly mad at something which I obviously care little for, and seem to lack a certain amount of cognitive ability.

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Kaweebo said:

Miche said:

NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role. I personally found her as stuck up, ill headed, guetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time.

The problem with her moreso is she serves a specific purpose in the story, that of being the impetus that sets the events of the show in motion, but the way she goes about it and gets involved require so much mental hoop-jumping to justify that it becomes nonsensical. Couple that with the fact that she is overrepresented as a character whose actions effect almost every major character in the OT and yet she exists ONLY in this show makes her come off as a fanfiction character rather than a utilitarian function of the story, someone to be admired as a prop by the writers rather than be genuine part of what’s going on without overstating it.

Even her creator in an interview said that he initially believed the only natural conclusion for her in the story was to die because her purpose exists solely here, yet Disney couldn’t even help themselves not to sequel bait for a second season on this supposedly “limited series” before it was released. So for her character, I’d suggest taking a cue from George:

“ It’s stylistically designed to be that way and you can’t undo that. But we can diminish the effects of it.”

You can’t remove her completely because she’s integral to later events, but de-emphasizing her role in how Leia gets kidnapped and why Obi-Wan leaves goes a great deal towards making her significantly more tolerable in the narrative. If she was just an Inquisitor who stood out above the rest rather than, effectively, a tertiary protagonist of the show, I would have appreciated her role much more.

The dialog, motifs, and just overall development is limited. And sadly her role is required in the story.

These functional characters or props as you have called them, is just a writing tool for the storyteller, an intermediate that develops the plot forward. And it would be quite and achievement, if the character is integrated fully into the story without the negative effects surrounding it.

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 (Edited)

I still maintain my criticism of the character and her place in the story even if I disagree with certain other users on things like acting, performance, etc. And obviously no one deserves to get hate for anything superficial in the real world regardless of how anyone may personally feel about their role in a production. Make no mistake, my issue is a writing one, not anything else.

This is your edit NFB and I trust given the decisions you’ve made so far that you’ll find a way to smartly integrate everything in a way that matches the quality of other shows like BCS and BB.

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NFBisms said:

DominicCobb said:
kindly fuck off from this site

You can repeat it one thousand times if you want, I will participate as much as I want to. I ought to censor myself though, in order to speak about anything as usual.

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 (Edited)

Miche said:

NFBisms said:

DominicCobb said:
kindly fuck off from this site

You can repeat it one thousand times if you want, I will participate as much as I want to. I ought to censor myself though in order to speak about anything as usual.

‘censor yourself’ come on – a racist who keeps quiet about being racist is still a racist who has no place here. plus the person who made the thread doesn’t want you here so the least you could do is not post here anymore lmao

I’m sorry this has gotten so off-topic, NFBisms.

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Miche said:

I ought to censor myself though in order to speak about anything as usual.

eye-roll

I’m going to stop engaging now. Sorry for derailing this thread a bit, NFB.

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Kaweebo said:

I still maintain my criticism of the character and her place in the story even if I disagree with certain other users on things like acting, performance, etc. And obviously no one deserves to get hate for anything superficial in the real world regardless of how anyone may personally feel about their role in a production. Make no mistake, my issue is a writing one, not anything else.

This is your edit NFB and I trust given the decisions you’ve made so far that you’ll find a way to smartly integrate everything in a way that matches the quality of other shows like BCS and BB.

Of course, the actor was doing her job, I only gave a clear characteristic in her style. The bigger culprit here is the direction, casting, scrip writing and just overall performance, making her not very believable.

Here are a few noticeable problems with the Third Sister surviving Order 66 in the Temple:

  1. In Revenge of the Sith, the only reason the younglings thought that Anakin was not part of the massacre taken place by Clone battalions, was because he came into the chambers alone. Had Anakin entered the room while being followed by 15 troopers (which they’ve seen killing Jedi, yet somehow are peaceful towards him), YOU WOULD NEVER EXPECT ANAKIN TO BE HELPING THE ORDER.

  2. The clones didn’t just kill internees in the Temple, they shot at them for multiple rounds. They didn’t leave anything to chance (if you don’t believe me, go rewatch the sequence of Order 66 and you’ll see groups of clones shooting at the corpses in the floor).

  3. Even if the Third Sister did survive the blade punctured into her, and the clones “checking” the corpses, she would have had to stay in the room. Pretending to be dead until Obi Wan and Yoda arrived. The Temple was plagued of clones waiting for surviving Jedi to return. The only time when she would have been able to escape the Temple was when Obi Wan and Yoda destroyed all the security forces that were there. She would have know perhaps that Obi Wan was fighting to save Jedi.

So turning things around after a few key points. What do you think is the background for this fixation on Kenobi? Did she think that Utapau was somehow free of clones? Why would she think he specifically survived the Order?

Why did she not worry about Yoda at all?
Well my only conclusion is that she has seen the entire series already. Through the force, and narrated by the Wills no doubt… Why isn’t she hunting Yoda, Mace Windu, Ki Adi Mundi, Plo Koon, etc… I know why, because she saw the movies. Younglings and even most Jedi didn’t know each other’s padawans. There’s an episode in Clone Wars where Anakin and Ashoka fight alongside Luminara and Barris (S2E6) and Barris introduces herself to Ashoka. Ashoka is much older than Reva at this point and she has been in several battles, as is Barris. The fact that Reva knows Anakin is Obi Wan’s apprentice can only be explained by the fact that Reva watched the movies.