Eddie, what you’ve done with this episode is brilliant. Watching it I couldn’t even remember what had been cut. It doesn’t necessarily feel like anything is missing.
First, some suggestions that I wrote as I was watching the episode: I wonder if a jump out of hyperspace sound could be added right as we began fading into the first shot. Something to help blend the music fading in.
When the Daughter takes Obi-Wan to the altar, I wonder if you give Obi-Wan a line, something like, “What is this place?” I do think this episode runs fine on dream-logic, but I think it could help with the flow. Or maybe the Daughter could say, “I will take you to them” or something like that. Or just simply use “Come with me” that was cut as they’re walking to the cave.
Since this is a dream anyway, I wonder if you could change the color of Ahsoka’s lightsabers from green to red? When she pulls out her lightsaber and it slowly ignites, and Anakin looks shocked, I think seeing that it is red would add a nice punch to the moment. And since this is all a dream it is a cool way to have a brief glimpse of Sith Ahsoka.
I also was confused about how exactly you used the fireplace eyes shot of Ahsoka. Could you explain that a little more? I may have just missed it.
Color changing might make the green tower light in the background turn red, but would that matter? Maybe you could just recolor the green bulbs to red in the other shots too, since it is supposed to be a dark side place anyway.
Before the Son says, “Can you feel it, sister?” I wonder if we could get a hint that she is there with him. Like, she could simply say “brother.” It just gives us the idea that she just arrived there or something. But again, I guess it isn’t necessary because dream-logic.
Potentially a longer beat between Anakin healing Ahsoka and then waking up? Feels like the transition is too quick, especially since Ahsoka looks back normal now. Another beat of white screen might help feel like slightly more time has passed. But with the music transitions this might not be feasible.
I’m still trying to figure out the secret Qui-Gon line you’re referring to! I thought it might be “control your fear” before he sees his mother, but you mentioned that so I guess it isn’t it. Also, did you add something to that voice? Because at first it almost sounded like the Father. Which would raise some interesting questions. Is this a test from Qui-Gon, or from the Father, and Qui-Gon is simply guiding Anakin through the Father’s test? Or, is this all something Qui-Gon has put together to help them through what’s to come? Or, Qui-Gon just guided them to this place (a place he may have once visited himself) and let the Force take it from there? I may have just misheard the voice thing, but I like the mystery of it all.
I don’t think this is what you were referencing, but before Anakin enters the Son’s lair, do you have Qui-Gon say, “Take only what you take with you.”? Kind of awkwardly worded but I think it works. Since to me, Qui-Gon’s not talking about what he’s physically carrying, but what he’s emotionally carrying. And this could imply that the darkness within him is what has corrupted Ahsoka, and not the Son. BUT, if the Son is simply a manifestation of Anakin’s own darkness anyway, it’s one in the same.
That’s what I love about what you’ve done with this episode. These interpretations were arguably already there, but now they aren’t bogged down by all the other stuff with them trying to get off the planet and what not.
Speaking of which, I’m not sure how you interpreted the dagger metaphor, but I took it like this:
The dagger is a metaphor for self-sacrifice. I don’t think Obi-Wan understands this until he sees the Daughter jump in the way to save her father, and then sacrifice the rest of her life force to save Ahsoka. To me, this foreshadows Obi-Wan eventually sacrificing himself to not only save Luke, but transfer “hope” from himself to Luke. I think this is touched on with the “There is no hope” and “There’s always hope!” lines.
I do wish there was a way to make it clearer that Obi-Wan is getting something from this moment. Like, a close up of him observing what’s happening would be nice, but the only sort of close up is when he is shielding his face from the light. Like when the screen goes white, hear Obi-Wan say, “I… understand”, but that might be too on the nose.
I know awhile back you interpreted Obi-Wan failing to use the dagger properly as his failure to save Anakin from the dark side, but I think it could be interpreted both ways. Like I said, keeping things vague gains the benefit of fostering multiple interpretations and double meanings, just like the original Dagobah Cave sequence had.
And I think the question of “Balance” benefits the most from what you’ve done with this episode. With the way it ends, there is clear analogy being made to the morality play the Mortis gods depict, and what Anakin eventually does to bring “balance” as George laid it out.
It’s funny, because I think this edit simultaneously simplifies the message, but also, through vagueness, increases the mystery. I could go on more about what I got from this episode but I’ll stop my long post for now. Great job, Eddie!