This looks really similar to what I was hoping to do with the series (Although it sounds like I liked it more than you overall). Unfortunate that you had to cut the duel flashback though, because I think it informs Vader’s actions in Episodes 5 and 6. Without that illustration of Anakin’s impatience, especially around Kenobi, he just seems like he’s making stupid mistakes. The flashback gives it an emotional underpinning.
I think that’s conveyed enough in Kenobi’s “all he will see is me” dialogue with Reva. Either way, the flashback is cool in the series but stops a movie dead.