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KENOBI: A STAR WARS STORY [The Radical "Help Me Obi-Wan Kenobi" Cut] — Page 17

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Hello, it’s well done but I was wondering if the earlier lightsaber use in the alternate rescue sequence would undermine Obi Wan’s hesitation & character arc for the rest of the edit

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 (Edited)

Anjohan said:

https://streamable.com/r4libo

  • Prolonged Obi-Wan looking for the entrance with 1.5 seconds
    -> Reshaped some of the new soundmix
    -> Added a sewer pipe that Obi-Wan swims out of
    -> Added bubbles as if he just jumped down into the pipe of which he then proceeds out of
    -> Removed Haja’s “Call you in a bit” to see if it flows better - I have no preferance.

@jrs81 Just read your post before render, so I removed that just for you. I felt different about it - like it “sealed the deal” of him and Haja speaking, but perhaps more people agree with you. Tell me.

And here’s the full end duel as it stands:

https://streamable.com/isatqd

-> Re-did some more on the soundmixing (replaced saber clashes that were bleeding with the old music, re-did some ambience)
-> Lowered volume in certain places
-> Re-did and switched about a lot of notes for a more “coherent” soundtrack


tampopo said:

Hello, it’s well done but I was wondering if the earlier lightsaber use in the alternate rescue sequence would undermine Obi Wan’s hesitation & character arc for the rest of the edit

I’ve taken this into consideration, and I’ve concluded that it doesn’t. It’s subjective of course, but here are my reasonings:

  1. Obi-Wan doesn’t (powerfully) use the force during the escape (he does not prevent the glass from breaking with it).
  2. He does use one force power, making a sound by moving an object - but his facial expressions tells us that it was hard to do and he was unsure whether it would work.
  3. He does use his lightsaber against stomtroopers, deflecting some bolts, and he does look rusty - even though he becomes more confident as he keeps on fighting. He does however not use his saber again until his first meeting with Vader.

So none of this should interfere with the first time he uses his full powers (saving Leia with force grab) and then later on.

Good question. Hope you liked the answer.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?
The Ancient Lore
Kenobi: A Star Wars Story
Harry Potter Revisited
Game of Thrones Film Edits
Titanic Restructured
… and more.

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whoa … I have nothing to add expect I am so freaking excited. Your clips looks great.

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So the scene go something like:

Reeva contact Bounty Hunters / puts out bounty -> Obi-Wan sees they are being targeted -> They are on the run, Bounty Hunters are looking for him -> They run into alleyway, Obi-Wan slap the dude down -> Inquisitors arrive and confront Reeva -> Leia climbs up a ladder to the rooftoops, Obi-Wan is seen running up there already -> Inquisitor “Whispery-Voice” Guy marches through the streets -> Leia and Obi-Wan continues to run on the roof, and then Bounty Hunter starts to shoot -> and then some alterations to the overall pacing and tone of that scene. It doesn’t go on for way too long, and it focuses on Obi-Wan and Leia.

I really like this idea of Leia not running from Ben even though I had no problem with that plot point except for the slow chase. I might incorporate this into an edit im working on

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 (Edited)

So entrance (https://streamable.com/r4libo) and escape:

https://streamable.com/izfrxj

-> Added water in the background as to imply there is water both inside and outside (in the pipes surrounding the area), flowing, as if this was one of many exit points from the Imperial Sewer Location.
-> Added alarm SFX and color, to keep up with continuity that they are fleeing from the area
-> Tweaked some ambience

Louis J said:

So the scene go something like:

Reeva contact Bounty Hunters / puts out bounty -> Obi-Wan sees they are being targeted -> They are on the run, Bounty Hunters are looking for him -> They run into alleyway, Obi-Wan slap the dude down -> Inquisitors arrive and confront Reeva -> Leia climbs up a ladder to the rooftoops, Obi-Wan is seen running up there already -> Inquisitor “Whispery-Voice” Guy marches through the streets -> Leia and Obi-Wan continues to run on the roof, and then Bounty Hunter starts to shoot -> and then some alterations to the overall pacing and tone of that scene. It doesn’t go on for way too long, and it focuses on Obi-Wan and Leia.

I really like this idea of Leia not running from Ben even though I had no problem with that plot point except for the slow chase. I might incorporate this into an edit im working on

Yeah, I think it helps a lot with the pace.

revel911 said:

whoa … I have nothing to add expect I am so freaking excited. Your clips looks great.

Thank you, brother.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?
The Ancient Lore
Kenobi: A Star Wars Story
Harry Potter Revisited
Game of Thrones Film Edits
Titanic Restructured
… and more.

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Time
 (Edited)

Anjohan said:

https://streamable.com/r4libo

  • Prolonged Obi-Wan looking for the entrance with 1.5 seconds
    -> Reshaped some of the new soundmix
    -> Added a sewer pipe that Obi-Wan swims out of
    -> Added bubbles as if he just jumped down into the pipe of which he then proceeds out of
    -> Removed Haja’s “Call you in a bit” to see if it flows better - I have no preferance.

@jrs81 Just read your post before render, so I removed that just for you. I felt different about it - like it “sealed the deal” of him and Haja speaking, but perhaps more people agree with you. Tell me

Better. would also move “if it’s the sewers you want” to start while he is walking and end it during the alien fish. LEAD us into the next scene. The dialogue, OB1 Walking, and alien fish are all transition to the next scene which is OB1 swimming. The swell in music while Ob1 is swimming is also too good to cover up with dialogue.

My 2 cents. But you really did make this idea work. Impressed 👍

UPDATE:. I would start the line when he stops walking and stands there a moment to think. He would be recalling what Haja told him. If it’s the sewers you want (Obi on screen) there is only one place to go (entrance on screen) be safe (alien fish on screen) music swells…

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jrs81 said:

Anjohan said:

https://streamable.com/r4libo

  • Prolonged Obi-Wan looking for the entrance with 1.5 seconds
    -> Reshaped some of the new soundmix
    -> Added a sewer pipe that Obi-Wan swims out of
    -> Added bubbles as if he just jumped down into the pipe of which he then proceeds out of
    -> Removed Haja’s “Call you in a bit” to see if it flows better - I have no preferance.

@jrs81 Just read your post before render, so I removed that just for you. I felt different about it - like it “sealed the deal” of him and Haja speaking, but perhaps more people agree with you. Tell me

Better. would also move “if it’s the sewers you want” to start while he is walking and end it during the alien fish. LEAD us into the next scene. The dialogue, OB1 Walking, and alien fish are all transition to the next scene which is OB1 swimming. The swell in music while Ob1 is swimming is also too good to cover up with dialogue.

My 2 cents. But you really did make this idea work. Impressed 👍

UPDATE:. I would start the line when he stops walking and stands there a moment to think. He would be recalling what Haja told him. If it’s the sewers you want (Obi on screen) there is only one place to go (crowd/entrance on screen) be safe (alien fish on screen) music swells…

I totally agree.

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NFBisms said:

This is something I put together in the other Kenobi redux thread, just in case it could be relevant to this project in some way:

NFBisms said:

I was one of those suckers who was actually really excited for Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022) because Deborah Chow and Kelley DIxon’s work on Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad fuckin’ rule. Needless to say, that was a bit misguided.

So I took a crack at editing the show to be closer in tone and style to what I expected out of BB-verse alumni.

I don’t think I’m going to do the whole show, but it was just a fun little experiment. The edit isn’t supposed to be like BB/BCS fwiw, just approaching the material with some of the storytelling philosophy I learned from them.

At the very least, Deborah Chow’s sensibilities as a director were still conducive to being arranged in this way so at least some of my excitement wasn’t unfounded

This is absolutely excellent. This is the kind of thing people were actually looking forward to about the show.

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The ending feels weird from the closed door to them coming out. Makes sense, but a tad rushed. Is there an elevator scene? Is there a scene (maybe inquisitors looking for them) that you can break away to before coming back to them?

Are you keeping the tombs in the base?

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 (Edited)

All good ideas and feedback. I’ll drink some beers now and reload, and do appropriate changes tomorrow!

It is shaping up to be quite something with all these good discussions.

Now - have a good evening, people!

WHAT HAVE I DONE?
The Ancient Lore
Kenobi: A Star Wars Story
Harry Potter Revisited
Game of Thrones Film Edits
Titanic Restructured
… and more.

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Time

Question, when will this be released?

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TBH, I’m not a huge fan of how this whole sewer thing is working out. Also not a big fan of the music change during the final duel as well. But, that’s just me.

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BrotherOfSasquatch said:

TBH, I’m not a huge fan of how this whole sewer thing is working out. Also not a big fan of the music change during the final duel as well. But, that’s just me.

What do you think is not working? I ask because say you saw this for the first time … what is and is not working?

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revel911 said:

BrotherOfSasquatch said:

TBH, I’m not a huge fan of how this whole sewer thing is working out. Also not a big fan of the music change during the final duel as well. But, that’s just me.

What do you think is not working? I ask because say you saw this for the first time … what is and is not working?

Well, for starters, I think the shots of the “fish” in the tanks is kind of weird and off putting. They just seem like they’re arbitrarily there. I feel like the beginning of the sewer section would be better if it just goes from Kenobi checking out the doorway to underneath the city and then it cuts to him swimming.

I also don’t think communicators work underwater so hearing Kumail talk to Obi-Wan while he’s swimming is also something I’m not a fan of. Maybe have him talking in Obi-Wan’s ear through the communicator while he’s checking out the door to establish that’s the doorway to the underbelly of the city and leads into the sewer system of the building that Leia is being held up in.

Another nitpick I have, which I will admit is something that Anjohan can’t really do anything about is the clothing discrepancy between the two scenes. The whole disguise thing of Obi-Wan and Leia when they leave the doorway works since you’d think they’d have to change after swimming back. But the clothing he wears in both of these scenes is vastly different and causes some continuity errors.

And finally… I’m just not a fan of putting this rescue so early in the series on a conceptual level. I think someone else already kind of said this but having him go full Jedi action hero to rescue Leia really undercuts the moment later in this episode where he uses the Force for the first time to save her when she falls off the building. I can honestly tell it’s a tricky situation since this is one of only a handful of big action moments in this series in an episode that’s entirely superfluous. But personally speaking, if I had the choice between just cutting everything from the Nur rescue or trying to implement key moments from it into the second episode, I would go with the former.

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 (Edited)

I feel like https://streamable.com/ngan0x is vastly superior to the mud that the writers made us trek through in the show. Well done! The only small off-putting thing in the episode is how the lightsabers didnt feel like lightsabers and felt like rods instead of plasma/lasers.

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NFBisms said:

This is something I put together in the other Kenobi redux thread, just in case it could be relevant to this project in some way:

NFBisms said:

I was one of those suckers who was actually really excited for Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022) because Deborah Chow and Kelley DIxon’s work on Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad fuckin’ rule. Needless to say, that was a bit misguided.

So I took a crack at editing the show to be closer in tone and style to what I expected out of BB-verse alumni.

I don’t think I’m going to do the whole show, but it was just a fun little experiment. The edit isn’t supposed to be like BB/BCS fwiw, just approaching the material with some of the storytelling philosophy I learned from them.

At the very least, Deborah Chow’s sensibilities as a director were still conducive to being arranged in this way so at least some of my excitement wasn’t unfounded

This is really great!
Anjohan: I hope that you use this in your edit! 😉

My edits:
https://ifdb.fanedit.org/fanedit-search/tag/faneditorname/phase3/

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Phase3 said:

NFBisms said:

This is something I put together in the other Kenobi redux thread, just in case it could be relevant to this project in some way:

NFBisms said:

I was one of those suckers who was actually really excited for Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022) because Deborah Chow and Kelley DIxon’s work on Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad fuckin’ rule. Needless to say, that was a bit misguided.

So I took a crack at editing the show to be closer in tone and style to what I expected out of BB-verse alumni.

I don’t think I’m going to do the whole show, but it was just a fun little experiment. The edit isn’t supposed to be like BB/BCS fwiw, just approaching the material with some of the storytelling philosophy I learned from them.

At the very least, Deborah Chow’s sensibilities as a director were still conducive to being arranged in this way so at least some of my excitement wasn’t unfounded

This is really great!
Anjohan: I hope that you use this in your edit! 😉

I second this, its really good.

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This is all coming together really nicely. It’s amazing what one guy can do that a multi-billion dollar corporation can’t.

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MandThUlti said:

I feel like https://streamable.com/ngan0x is vastly superior to the mud that the writers made us trek through in the show. Well done! The only small off-putting thing in the episode is how the lightsabers didnt feel like lightsabers and felt like rods instead of plasma/lasers.

I felt something was off as well, just couldn’t put my hand on what it is.

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 (Edited)

BrotherOfSasquatch said:

revel911 said:

BrotherOfSasquatch said:

TBH, I’m not a huge fan of how this whole sewer thing is working out. Also not a big fan of the music change during the final duel as well. But, that’s just me.

What do you think is not working? I ask because say you saw this for the first time … what is and is not working?

Well, for starters, I think the shots of the “fish” in the tanks is kind of weird and off putting. They just seem like they’re arbitrarily there. I feel like the beginning of the sewer section would be better if it just goes from Kenobi checking out the doorway to underneath the city and then it cuts to him swimming.

I also don’t think communicators work underwater so hearing Kumail talk to Obi-Wan while he’s swimming is also something I’m not a fan of. Maybe have him talking in Obi-Wan’s ear through the communicator while he’s checking out the door to establish that’s the doorway to the underbelly of the city and leads into the sewer system of the building that Leia is being held up in.

Another nitpick I have, which I will admit is something that Anjohan can’t really do anything about is the clothing discrepancy between the two scenes. The whole disguise thing of Obi-Wan and Leia when they leave the doorway works since you’d think they’d have to change after swimming back. But the clothing he wears in both of these scenes is vastly different and causes some continuity errors.

And finally… I’m just not a fan of putting this rescue so early in the series on a conceptual level. I think someone else already kind of said this but having him go full Jedi action hero to rescue Leia really undercuts the moment later in this episode where he uses the Force for the first time to save her when she falls off the building. I can honestly tell it’s a tricky situation since this is one of only a handful of big action moments in this series in an episode that’s entirely superfluous. But personally speaking, if I had the choice between just cutting everything from the Nur rescue or trying to implement key moments from it into the second episode, I would go with the former.

  1. I like your points to make the scene flow better
  2. Is there any scene in closer clothes where Leia and Obi are getting on or off an elevator (could always reverse it) that could be relit to look like Daiyu? I think what jars me is the clothes change and then AGAIN Obi says “we have to change”? If he stayed in the “disguise” I am okay with, but multiple out changes in a few minutes is odd.
  3. I liked Anjohan’s point that he removed Obi not using the force as a balance.
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MandThUlti said:

Phase3 said:

NFBisms said:

This is something I put together in the other Kenobi redux thread, just in case it could be relevant to this project in some way:

NFBisms said:

I was one of those suckers who was actually really excited for Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022) because Deborah Chow and Kelley DIxon’s work on Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad fuckin’ rule. Needless to say, that was a bit misguided.

So I took a crack at editing the show to be closer in tone and style to what I expected out of BB-verse alumni.

I don’t think I’m going to do the whole show, but it was just a fun little experiment. The edit isn’t supposed to be like BB/BCS fwiw, just approaching the material with some of the storytelling philosophy I learned from them.

At the very least, Deborah Chow’s sensibilities as a director were still conducive to being arranged in this way so at least some of my excitement wasn’t unfounded

This is really great!
Anjohan: I hope that you use this in your edit! 😉

I second this, its really good.

+1,tbh,I cannot imagine a better and more climatic opening for this movie.

Bte, Since you changed the title to “Kenobi:A Star Wars Story” are you gonna make a custom title card as well?

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  1. Yes, I like NSFBisms remake of the opening a lot, and would have no issue in using it. But I would most likely only use the opening, because it breaks with the tone and the flow with what follows. It is cut in such a, let’s say, intellectually rewarding way and at a swift pace - and without any music, that when followed by the rest of the film it’s like this very intriguing, dark, lonely tone that is set and then all of a sudden it’s cut like a generic Star Wars series/film.

What I’m trying to say is the opening promises a whole different type of feel then the rest of the series does. If I am to use the whole opening, I would have to do some more, new sound mixes myself and totally remove music at certain scenes and rather “build up the score” throughout the film. Because we can’t go from this amazing, intriguing, but finally lonely opening, to music->music->music->.

That being said! I could definitely do that, but the edit would probably be pushed back another week or two.

  1. The Alternate Rescue, that I am very thrilled is well-liked, IS an idea! It is NOT in the main edit!

This leaves us with two choices:

  • I can make two different cuts of the film. One with the original
    Structure, and one with the more radical changes (like this alternate rescue). I’m all open to ideas. I myself love the alternate rescue and find it very rewarding to have so Obi-Wan actually have to work his ass of and risk his life to find her.
  1. As someone said earlier, the fact that Obi-Wan and Leia changes clothes again after escaping is not an issue as it makes sense in the narrative of trying to not get catches after an imperial
    Hideout escape. It’s a nitpick, and it works mesa thinks.

I’ll respond some more and start editing some more very soon now.

I’ll look into smoothing out the escape (and doing things suggested for the entrance).

WHAT HAVE I DONE?
The Ancient Lore
Kenobi: A Star Wars Story
Harry Potter Revisited
Game of Thrones Film Edits
Titanic Restructured
… and more.