I can see how the updates tend to talk past the others, but I think the overall effect still works.

First update establishes the importance of the hangar to catching Rey, and Kylo essentially warns against just waiting for her like the layout would imply. I could change the order of dialogue to make this more clear.

“Sir, the only way out is through hangar 718. She’ll find her way there eventually.”
“The longer it takes to find her, the more dangerous she becomes.”
“Yes sir, I’ll order a full search at once.”

I think the second update works as Kylo displaying an abundance of caution and a lack of faith in his troops to contain her to just one area of the base.

Also recall that the final reference to the hangar in this version is the trooper communicating directly with Phasma, who urges caution and is making her way to the hangar personally.