Yep, and a bonus if we stick with something that ends with ‘a laser cannon’ is that anyone who wants just the original line replacement can shorten it themselves.

On to the main event, I think I’ve finally cracked the Search for Rey scene progression. It’s basically the theatrical progression with altered dialogue, which means that I can keep every frame of the original short scenes.

Here is the latest. Keep in mind audio is very rough and ready at the end, as I haven’t finalized the music or transitions.

And here’s the sequence in dialogue:
“Sir, Phasma has sent every available Stormtrooper to the cell block, but she may have moved to other levels.”
“She’s just beginning to touch her powers. The longer it takes to find her, the more dangerous she becomes.”
(Rey moves to other levels)
“My Lord, we’ve detected a vessel landing in sector 12, but all ships are accounted for.”
“Put every hangar on lockdown! She’s going to try and steal a ship to escape!”
…
“Han Solo.”

Hopefully this threads the needle between everything that needs to be established for future scenes to work. We establish Phasma and her sending her troops to the cell block, while admitting that this will probably be insufficient and Kylo must think bigger in order to capture her. Then we get Rey doing what she does well, followed by a very tricky bit of exposition. This must simultaneously establish the Falcon’s location so that Kylo will be expected in that location later, as well as being about the hangar situation so that Kylo’s statement about hangar lockdowns doesn’t come out of left field. I like that the officer doesn’t even register that it could be an enemy ship, but Kylo immediately knows the culprit. Finally, I think it’s neat that Kylo could either be sensing Han through the Force or merely coming to the conclusion of who must be on that vessel.