I’d be interested in hearing what specifically makes it feel odd. Keep in mind the music and integration of the scene will be changed, but really I’m wondering if the basic premise of the scene works, the dialogue and progression of the shots.

-Mountain establishing shot

-Troops marching down the corridor

“Sir, Phasma’s troops are converging on the prison level, and all sectors are on alert.”
“She’s just beginning to touch her powers. The longer it takes to find her…” (Distracted by the Force)
“Um, sir?”
“Put every hangar on lockdown! She’s going to steal a ship to escape!”

-Rey runs furtively down the corridor