Sounds good! I’m trying to shorten the line while keeping all the meaning, so perhaps:
“Sir! Phasma has ordered a lockdown search of the entire cell block. She won’t escape us.”
“Sir, Phasma has ordered her troops to search the prison block until the girl is found.”
“Sir, Phasma’s elite unit has been deployed to the cell block. Are we facing a Jedi, sir?”
This is if I want to cram as much exposition as possible into the scene in order to help justify Finn’s plan. The other option is to go into the personal place that Kylo’s lines imply. Something like this:
“Sir, about the girl. They say that she’s dangerous, that she has powers like yours.”
“She’s just beginning to touch her powers. The longer it takes to find her, the more dangerous she becomes.”
This feels more natural to me, since it frames Kylo’s words as a de-escalation of the trooper’s fears along with a threatening encouragement to do their job. It also speaks more directly to the overall theme of the edit, that of implying a similarity of Force between Kylo and Rey. And keep in mind that the reason this scene was originally cut was due to the perceived escalation of Rey’s power, so any lines would have to reframe this somehow.