logo Sign In

The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released) — Page 616

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Hey, new to the forum.

Just watched the workprint and feel like without the connection to her parents (“I’ve seen that ship before”), Rey doesn’t have that good a reason to be distracted by Ochi’s ship and miss the last trooper.

What if you mixed in Sith voices or ambiance at that moment to make it seem more like Rey is put in a momentary trance, either from residual dark side vibes coming off the ship or some medium-range communication from the dagger calling to her underneath the sand?

It’s by no means a glaring flaw but is something I thought might be worth bringing up.

Author
Time

It wouldn’t be the only unavoidable hiccup of the idea, and I did minimize the gap so it’s less like she’s mesmerized by the ship and more that she noticed it and then they’re all surprised by the remaining trooper. Also, I think it’d important to keep the whispers associated closely with the knife itself, in order to continue to get away with the compass removal while propping up the corpse of the legitimacy of the plot device.

And welcome!

My stance on revising fan edits.

Author
Time

I think just tightening that shot would help.

Author
Time

Okay! Finally saw the workprint. Thoughts:

  • Agree with Octorox, you should probably trim Palpy’s “she is not who you think she is” mumbo-jumbo.
  • You know, honestly, I think I prefer Rey’s vision without any extra footage. Keep it nice and light - Kylo’s can be all about his past character development; but I like how Rey’s feels like it’s more of a warning than the introspective rumination that Kylo’s is, especially the way it hits her unexpectedly. So, Kylo’s “vision” is really him reflecting on the previous movie; Rey’s “vision” is an actual glimpse of the future.
  • Not particularly relevant, but I still get goosebumps at some of these changes, especially that puppet show. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - well done everyone who worked on those shots!
  • Rey still has her line to Finn in Babu’s workshop about Ochi’s ship; Snooker already mentioned it, but I’m seconding cutting it.
  • The audio mixing on Kylo’s dialogue in his bedroom randomly switches louder and softer. Needs a little fine tuning there.
  • The new dialogue in the Bedroom scene functions well; but…I dunno, the whole fight just feels a little pointless now. All of the dialogue is relatively unimportant. I think the deeper point of the scene is that Rey is lashing out instead of staying calm, which is a really interesting story beat; but I wonder if there’s some way to highlight that? Maybe move the “So much pain in you, so much anger” line to this scene? (For the record, I’d much rather take empty platitudes in this scene over nonsensical retcons. It’s totally serviceable now, but I just wonder if it can be pushed further.)
  • Subjective, but I think the pacing on the Destroyer feels a little off. I wonder if it might flow a little better as: Poe shot and they’re captured -> the Bedroom scene -> Pryde’s “Terminate them!” scene -> Rey finds 3PO -> “I’m the spy” -> “Friends ahead”. Thoughts?
  • The Hangar dialogue all sounds really nice on a technical level. Kudos to RL and Spence and anyone else who helped with that. I did notice that Kylo says “We’re a Dyad” instead of “We’ve become a Dyad.” Not sure if that was intentional.
  • Kylo tells Rey that she’s destined to kill Palpy and take the throne, and then in the next scene, Rey declares to Finn that she’s going to destroy Palpatine? Why? Wouldn’t she not want to do that? Maybe we could lampshade it a little bit by slipping in an extra line to the effect of “Kylo says…I’m going to find Palpatine, and destroy him.” “That doesn’t sound like you…” blah blah blah.
  • Like I mentioned before, I think the “General/General” scene cuts off a little awkwardly. It might flow better as: Ahch-To -> Memory restoration -> Finn and D-O -> “General/General” -> Plugging D-O into the computer. Or maybe there’s some way of preserving that final shot of Poe when he’s talking to Finn? Maybe it could be reconstructed like this: “This droid…” “Who, Cone-Face?” “I am D-O.” “Sorry, D-O.” “This droid has a ton of information about Exegol.” [Hold on Poe’s face, or on D-O - just something to give the scene a little moment to breathe.]
  • The conversation between Rey and Palpy works really well. No complaints there.
  • Since this is a new release, will you be including Poppa’s color correction on Ben’s/Vader’s TIE on Exegol? (Was there something else that needed to be color corrected? I can’t remember.)
  • Also, speaking of, are the LUTs applied to all of the scenes for the workprint? Some of the colors feel a little off, but that may just be my monitor.

The Rise of Skywalker: Untold - A “Rey Nobody” edit of Ep. IX | Looking for voices and VFX - Please reach out if interested!

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Burbin said:

Here’s my (rough) attempt to implement some of my ideas for the vision, building off of Hal’s edit:
https://streamable.com/3gm19b

Just went back and saw this. I think the added clips really enhance it nicely, Burbin! And I love the sound effects with the screams, they create a lovely, eerie tone. It’s a little jarring to hear “Join me” and “You’re still holding on” simultaneously - I’d try to space them out slightly so they don’t overlap - but overall big improvement!

I’m still a little unsure about using those TFA shots though. The theatrical film sets that up as a “Wow, Rey is tapping into the Force and becoming a Jedi” Hero-moment, and I think it could be weird for casual audience members to have that retconned into a Dark Side moment in a 1-second flashback montage.

The Rise of Skywalker: Untold - A “Rey Nobody” edit of Ep. IX | Looking for voices and VFX - Please reach out if interested!

Author
Time
 (Edited)

sherlockpotter said:

  • Kylo tells Rey that she’s destined to kill Palpy and take the throne, and then in the next scene, Rey declares to Finn that she’s going to destroy Palpatine? Why? Wouldn’t she not want to do that? Maybe we could lampshade it a little bit by slipping in an extra line to the effect of “Kylo says…I’m going to find Palpatine, and destroy him.” “That doesn’t sound like you…” blah blah blah.

A lot of good feedback, Sherlock.

Yeah, I know this scene was probably driving Spence crazy, trying to get it to work within the new context.

This is one scene that I think is handled better in a version of the movie where the revelation is that Rey killed her parents. Krausfadr demonstrated this well in his Resurgence edit by cutting the line about destroying Palpatine and instead had Rey say, “I killed my mother, and my father.” to which Finn responds, “That doesn’t sound like you…”

Honestly the whole interaction doesn’t make a lot of sense in the original film. Their mission from the beginning is to find and stop Palpatine, so Rey saying that she’s going to destroy him shouldn’t be really surprising to Finn. I guess it is the way she says it? But we never really get a beat of Finn looking at Rey and being like, “what’s gotten into her?”

This scene is one reason I sometimes revisit the idea of Rey killing her parents. While I personally think IX needed to move on from Rey parents, it genuinely seems like something Abrams and Terrio would have written, if that makes sense. Not a great storytelling choice, but still better than what we got. One downside is that you’d have to show the ship they tried to leave in, which looks just like Ochi’s, unless some future edit went through the effort to change the shot of it in TFA and TROS. It’d be annoying to bring up a second revelation about her parents in this movie, but it ties in well with ideas about her inner darkness, the threat she poses to the ones she cares about, that maybe she closed herself off to the force after that event until TFA… I think it would’ve been a lame decision but like I said, totally feels like something they would’ve done.

But I think in the context of Spence’s edit, I see it as Rey actually accepting the information Kylo just told her. Maybe she should take the throne, if it means stopping Palpatine. And it isn’t until she almost kills Kylo does she snap out of that mindset. When Rey says to Kylo, “I do [know what I need it do.]” it is actually Rey accepting that she will take the throne. And it is simply the way Rey says she’ll destroy Palpatine that creeps Finn out a little bit.

Maybe you could have Rey say, “I’m going to find Palpatine, and dethrone him.” But I think Finn is bothered by her using the word destroy rather than something like “stop”, so that may take away from Finn’s reaction.

Author
Time

You’re saying that you see Rey’s moment post-hangar as her realizing that when she completes the necessary, galaxy-saving mission they’re on she’ll be corrupted in the process and become evil? I guess that’s a fair read, but isn’t fed to the audience real clearly.

Sherlock, I’ll try the order of scenes on the destroyer you suggest and see how it plays. Same surrounding Ach-To.

I did not apply LUTs to this workprint, as I have to do that last. But don’t worry, it’ll look the same as the regular version. Also, I don’t actually have a fixed version of that one shot from poppa. If he does send me one I’ll use it but otherwise I’m not bothered by it.

And editing these subtitles is going to be glorious fun with how haphazard and jumping all around I’ve handled this…

My stance on revising fan edits.

Author
Time

Hal 9000 said:

Hey, I like that! Totally works for me. Almost want to replace the Rey Palpatine version, but it’s probably better to leave it about her parents.

sherlockpotter said:

Burbin said:

Here’s my (rough) attempt to implement some of my ideas for the vision, building off of Hal’s edit:
https://streamable.com/3gm19b

Just went back and saw this. I think the added clips really enhance it nicely, Burbin! And I love the sound effects with the screams, they create a lovely, eerie tone. It’s a little jarring to hear “Join me” and “You’re still holding on” simultaneously - I’d try to space them out slightly so they don’t overlap - but overall big improvement!

I’m still a little unsure about using those TFA shots though. The theatrical film sets that up as a “Wow, Rey is tapping into the Force and becoming a Jedi” Hero-moment, and I think it could be weird for casual audience members to have that retconned into a Dark Side moment in a 1-second flashback montage.

I’m glad you guys liked that vision edit! It was fun to put those ideas into practice and seeing that they actually fit pretty well with what we had. I agree about the Kylo lines, honestly I left the “Join me” because I just worked on top of Dom/Hal’s edit, though looking at it now I do think having both lines could work if placed and blended better.

It was a popular read back in the day that Rey tapped into the dark side to beat Kylo on SKB, and apparently it’s in the novelization(?). Daisy’s acting definitely left room for that interpretation, even if the story beat called for a triumphant moment as the good guy beats the bad guy, and TLJ built on that by showing Rey didn’t understand the nature of her power, and that she’s not afraid to go to the dark (and also that things ain’t as simple “good guys” vs “bad guys”). So coming into TROS I don’t see this as retconning TFA, but rather trying to follow the throughline from TLJ.

Author
Time

Lol…

RogueLeader said:

This scene is one reason I sometimes revisit the idea of Rey killing her parents. While I personally think IX needed to move on from Rey parents, it genuinely seems like something Abrams and Terrio would have written, if that makes sense. Not a great storytelling choice, but still better than what we got.

Truly the level to which all screenwriters aspire.

Honestly, there’s a really bizarre problem in this film wherein every time Rey needs to reflect on something, they toss her in a corner with Finn and have her complain about the specific thing for a few seconds. It happens…what? Three times? And every time, Finn just awkwardly says something about “I think you’re a good perso-” before Rey cuts him off. It’s straight out of a CW show.

It’s like…in the whole wide world of visualizing internal conflict, J.J. and Chris pick the same option three times. You’d think they’d catch this sort of thing in the rewrite and/or script-edit phase; but no, they just keep hitting the same story beat over and over again. All of these scenes just blur together for me eventually. That said, Rey does need some acknowledgement of what just went down with Kylo in the hangar, so I guess we have to work with what we’ve got.

Anyway.

As a theoretical alternative, I’ve been working on a version of Rey’s dialogue for my edit that would have her reflecting on, and rejecting, Kylo’s offer of partnership. I think it works in the context of the larger story, and it offers a somewhat subtle callback to TLJ, where Rey told Kylo that “it isn’t too late” for him. The fact that she’s now saying the opposite adds weight to Finn’s argument that “that doesn’t sound like [her].”

I’m not really sure how to slot it in against the available footage, but I’m putting it out there in case anyone has ideas. (Or critiques on the mashup - can always use some fresh ears for stuff like this!)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BjneRw1tO-Ns75huDvQabBdnsdCypbje/view?usp=sharing

The Rise of Skywalker: Untold - A “Rey Nobody” edit of Ep. IX | Looking for voices and VFX - Please reach out if interested!

Author
Time

sherlockpotter said:

As a theoretical alternative, I’ve been working on a version of Rey’s dialogue for my edit that would have her reflecting on, and rejecting, Kylo’s offer of partnership. I think it works in the context of the larger story, and it offers a somewhat subtle callback to TLJ, where Rey told Kylo that “it isn’t too late” for him. The fact that she’s now saying the opposite adds weight to Finn’s argument that “that doesn’t sound like [her].”

I’m not really sure how to slot it in against the available footage, but I’m putting it out there in case anyone has ideas. (Or critiques on the mashup - can always use some fresh ears for stuff like this!)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BjneRw1tO-Ns75huDvQabBdnsdCypbje/view?usp=sharing

I really like this change. It builds upon Rey’s growing disdain for Kylo and her leaning further into the Dark Side, it adds weight to the moment when she kills Kylo and looks at this with horror and it provides a neat inverse to Luke’s arc in ROTJ. My only real criticism which really could just be a nitpick is that after the “He killed his father…” line, I can’t really tell what the other two lines are and the transition to the second line is a little jarring especially with the audio quality kind of shifting. Still definitely keep working at this, this sounds awesome.

Author
Time

Hal 9000 said:

Also, I don’t actually have a fixed version of that one shot from poppa. If he does send me one I’ll use it but otherwise I’m not bothered by it.

Yeah I’ve fallen behind with work and everything, but I’ll try to get on that color fix soon. If you don’t have it before you’re about to render a master file, ping me one more time and I’ll get it done!

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Sounds good!

Also, workprint #2 is on its way up now, taking into account feedback so far. It doesn’t change the sequence of scenes surrounding the duel in Kylo’s quarters, but does change the order of the post-Acho-To scenes.

My stance on revising fan edits.

Author
Time

On the quarters duel, I’d strongly recommend reverting back to the original Kylo line “I needed you to see it… who you are.” I think that line would work great with the way this ‘Rey nobody’ story has been molded, I don’t see why it was changed. I think the original is a lot more personal and speaks to Rey’s inner struggle, which would prompt her to lash out at him in denial. He’s basically affirming her fears that the darkness she’s trying to contain is her true self, and she has to “surrender to it”, as he later says. It also ties with “don’t be afraid of who you are”, as stated by Leia and later twisted by her Evil self. The line it was replaced with basically changes it to “I wanted you to see just how cool the dark side is”.

The original line is also what Rey is refering to when she tells Finn “People keep telling me they know me”, so without it that doesn’t make much sense. It would also better set up the reveal on the hangar, as it implies Kylo knows more about her that he’s let on (specially now that you’ve removed “who is she?” from the opening). Which is also why I think you should restore the line “You don’t know the whole story”, it would help give back a bit more meat to the duel since it restores it’s function as setup for the hangar scene. So it would play out like this: “I needed you to see it… who you are. Rey… you don’t know the whole story. Tell me where you are.” Now it’s clear Kylo knows something and he wants to tell Rey, which explains why Rey decides to stay on the hangar and listen to whatever he has to say, otherwise I think it’s pretty odd, specially the way she says “tell me” like she’s desperate to know “the rest of her story” despite only just learning about it.

Author
Time

These are some good thoughts, Burbin. I think because we associate the lines with Rey Palpatine, there is a inclination to shy away from them, but it biases us and would still likely work in this new context.

Author
Time

I agree with that take too Burbin, making it more personal is worth a shot

“I don’t believe it.”

“That is why you Yoda.”
Master Fail

Author
Time

Also, I have another idea for the hangar scene:

https://streamable.com/kptyv1

I feel the dialogue flows a lot better if we move around Kylo’s spiel about the light/darkness to after he reveals that they’re a dyad, in that way what he’s saying is more explicitly an explanation of what the dyad is, he says they’re two sides of the same Force coin before then saying if they joined forces they’d become unstoppable. So the reveal is basically “Palpatine sent me to kill you because he knows you will overtake him, but what he doesn’t know is I’m actually here to help you do it”.

I like how this new dialogue kinda implies they’d achieve some sort of balance if they were together (“powerful light, powerful darkness”) or that the dyad is trying to balance itself. To carry on with that idea I feel it’d be good to change Kylo’s line in the DSII “The dark side is in our nature” to “The dark side is in your nature”, since Rey is the one being pulled to the dark. Maybe this would lessen Ben’s ‘redemption’, as he admits of being pulled to the light, but I think it could be seen as Kylo trying to find a middle ground but being torn because Rey refuses to accept her darkness. Kylo is offering this more grey alternative to Rey, but since she refuses, she continues down her dark path and pushes Ben to the light.

Author
Time

Neo Hartless said:

Sebastian Shaw cut, yes or no?

Yes, though it may be some time before this becomes a reality.

The name’s Lawson. Noah Lawson.

Author
Time

I pray every fortnight for Sebastian Shaw’s ghost to return to me

Save the Sebastian Shaw Ghost! Save the dream…!

Author
Time

A Shaw ghost version of the final confrontation would be nice, once somebody can do it and have it look good.

Author
Time

Hal 9000 said:

Burbin, I’ve noted those ideas and will play with them next time I manage to boot up into my old OS and do some work on this. Thank you.

Thanks to you and Spence/RL for putting things togheter. I had made my peace with Rey Palpatine but honestly having seen the workprint I’m beggining to think the ‘nobody’ cut might end up a half decent followup to TLJ.