Is it possible to imply that the Republic is going to send some reinforcements, but that those reinforcements are still stuck on [Not-Coruscant]? I feel like it needs to be clear that the Republic fleet is getting wiped out along with the planet, because otherwise it implies A) That reinforcements could still show up after Starkiller fires, because maybe they’re still en route, and B) That the Resistance isn’t the last hope for the Republic after all, because they still have a whole fleet somewhere out there that’s being prepped. I know the goal is to make the Republic not seem incompetent, but I think it’s starting to get to the point of muddying the stakes and consequences of the finale.
Maybe something like “General, the Senate has voted to send reinforcements and are gathering their forces on [Not-Coruscant].”
Plus, if reinforcements are going to come, and then Starkiller kills them all, that just adds to that crushing feeling of hopelessness that you build up so well in your edit.
I’m not entirely sure what the new ending is - could you give a summary please? I am worried about one thing here though:
But I could instead split the R2 scene differently, with BB-8 uncovering R2 and knocking him with his dome before becoming discouraged and rolling away.
As clunky as the exposition is in the theatrical film (“Oh boy, I wonder if R2 has the information we need? He probably doesn’t, but I wonderrrrrrrrr…”), the important thing is that it establishes why we need to bring back R2 for this film. I’m worried that just sticking him in the film with a literal curtain flourish, and then walking away from him for the next hour without a word…I think it’s going to feel like derivative fan service. It’s like Finn activating the holochess game on the Falcon - it’s the film waving iconography in your face to get a cheer from the fans, but not (seemingly) serving a story purpose. “Guys look! It’s R2! We brought back R2! You remember R2-D2, RIGHT?? HE’S HERE TOO!!!”
Maybe it’ll work better in practice though - like I said, I’m not entirely sure what the end goal is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯