Thanks Eddie! Your voice is great! Not an exact match to the actor (that would of course be impossible) which means all his lines would probably need replacing, but that strikes me as an opportunity…
…because the character only has one other line in the film that I can see, which is in the Resistance Briefing scene where he says ‘A laser cannon.’ In reading the general Sequel fanedit ideas thread, there was the idea that the Starkiller was only a single-use weapon, so it would probably be fairly simple to change his line to ‘A single use laser cannon’ or ‘a one-use laser cannon’, where he says the first part off-screen.
As for the invented scene, Here’s a few ideas for alternate dialogue which may be better:
“General, the Senate has responded and is scrambling ships. Will they reach us in time?”
“They haven’t got a chance.”
or
“General, the Senate has voted to scramble the fleet. Will it reach us in time?”
“They haven’t got a chance.”