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Post #1482273

Author
EddieDean
Parent topic
Community Focus Thread 1: The Phantom Menace
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1482273/action/topic#1482273
Date created
1-May-2022, 5:46 AM

Eyepainter said:

EddieDean said:

That said, I do have a couple more ideas I might try, for cutting the Jedi on the Neimoidian ship and allowing the movie to have better momentum at the beginning:

The first idea: If we’re trimming the Neimoidian ship, and a valid criticism of my original attempt was that we flick between too many locations, then perhaps we don’t need to see the Jedi on their ship at all - perhaps they begin on the planet. That way, the first time we see them they’re in action. There’s also a natural flow into that content, as it could be preceded by the army arriving in the swamp, which could itself be preceded by the Neimoidian/Sidious dialogue about the invasion. The opening crawl could simply help place them already on mission.

The second idea: This one’s a little more radical, but we could preserve some of the Neimoidian ship drama and existing plot, and build tension, if the ambassadors sent to the Neimoidians are different characters the Jedi. If the Jedi begin on the planet, getting flushed out by Trade Federation forces, then we still have the footage of a Republic ship arriving on the Neimoidian ship, and being destroyed. Plus we might be able to tie that in with Queen Amidala’s accusative phonecall.

Scene ordering might be:

  • Opening crawl
  • Neimoidians and Sidious discuss their hopes for the invasion
  • Second set of shots of Trade Federation forces landing (this set nicely transitions from the sky to the ground)
  • Jedi fleeing tanks, discover Jar Jar (a bit of new Jar Jar dialogue here might help give some key exposition)
  • Jar Jar agrees to take the Jedi to Theed
  • Set of shots showing Trade Federation forces travelling overground to Theed, Padmé laments at the window

Going with the second idea as well, you could put the scenes of the ambassador-but-not-Jedi ship arriving, then getting immediately destroyed, right after the crawl, which feels like it should flow OK. And Padmé’s smack talk could either come around that time - near Sidious calling her naive - or after her lament later on.

I guess between the two, I’ll pick the first one, since I feel lazy, and it’s an easier feat than the other one. Just a couple simple cuts with some crossfades if need be. The second one requires a lot of work, and I’m worried that you’d need someone who knows Blender all too well in order to pull it off.

I’m feeling exhausted due to my day job. But when I get my energy back, I’d be happy to work on the first option and upload the result like I did last time! What do you think?

Sorry if that sounded like I was asking you to do that Eyepainter, it wasn’t my intent to assume you’d take on the responsibility! I assumed I’d pick it up myself (and use the Jar Jar voice thing while I’m at it), but please do give it a crack if you’re up for it. Or we’ll both give it a crack and compare notes!