So I’ve been sitting with the updated crawl for a while, but it just feels a bit off compared to the structure of the first. I really like going from Luke’s disappearance in the first paragraph to the First Order in the second and the Resistance in the third, that way there’s no splitting of the First Order between the first and third paragraphs. In light of this, here’s the new crawl:

It is a time of despair.
Luke Skywalker, striving
to restore the legendary
Jedi Knights, has vanished.

In Skywalker’s absence,
malevolent forces raised
under the banner of the
IMPERIAL FIRST ORDER
have emerged from their
barbaric hidden fortress
to terrorize star systems
throughout the peaceful
New Republic.

With the Republic falling
into chaos and division,
a few brave senators have
secretly called upon a
daring RESISTANCE to
find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…

I believe this fixes the two biggest issues people took with the first crawl, namely the run-on sentence in the second paragraph and the inaccurate role of the Republic in the story.

Another adjustment was changing ‘Jedi Order’ to ‘Jedi Knights’ because that is a bit more well-known to the average viewer and more illustrative of their role as warriors. I’ve also changed ‘missing Jedi’ to ‘last Jedi’ to clearly state that plot point.

Finally, the word ‘raised’ in the second paragraph has a double meaning as Finn describes being literally raised by the First Order. The word ‘terrorize’ more accurately describes the activities of the First Order at this time (such as the events described in Bloodlines) and offers some explanation of why traditional armies and fleets fielded by the Republic may not be effective against this foe.

I’m pretty happy with this crawl, personally.