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A few reviews . . (film or TV) — Page 88

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Paris In Five Days - 1926 - 6/10
AKA - Paris en Cinq Jours

Chicago accountant Harry, takes new girlfriend Dolly to Paris for five days.
What follows is the parody of the quickie / cheapie tour.
The open bus, rolling down boulevards, passengers looking quickly, snapping photos.
The 15 minute drinks break. A hurried rush through museums.
Dolly catches the eye of a smooth seducer, while Harry, over and over, gets lost or into trouble.
Fast moving silent, packed with sight gags and situation comedy.
Not to mention Parisian exteriors, late 1920’s.
The print I watched was beautifully restored, BUT had no sound and the French inter-titles were not translated.

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The Alligator People - 1959 - 5/10

Honeymooning cross-country by train, Paul receives a wire and abandons new bride, Joyce.
“No one’s jilting this girl!” and off she goes, tracking her husband into his mysterious past.
Deep into the Louisiana swamps, swarming with water moccasins and alligators.
As well as hook-handed Lon Chaney Jr., moonshine swiller and gator hater.
Yeah, there’s a plot, but it ain’t much. Action? Zzzz. Horror? Get on.
The look is Southern Gothic, the tone is brooding, but the story falls flat.
One of the last films by Roy Del Ruth - watch his 1930’s films instead of this.

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God Help The Girl - 2014 - 8/10

Three minutes in, I asked, “Is this based on a musical?”
The females who selected this quickly answered, “I hope not.”
There were songs throughout - lots of them.
Internal songs, numbers for a prospective concert, others, to quote Mr Wilson, busy doing nothing.
A small percentage will love this film, destined to become a cult fave. A greater proportion will shrug or dislike.
The cinematography is stylized and lush. For some, and this will be the last spike, there are dance numbers.
Odd coming of age tale, omitting the typical love angle.
Troubled girl escapes from clinic / halfway house, goes to Glasgow, tries to work on her song craft.
The theme is of the friends you make in your late teens, early twenties. Your peers.
The ones who help you through the awkward, often painful transition into adulthood.
The ones who, for the briefest of springs, mean the whole world to you.

Yet that period is so very brief.
Bittersweet, and again, not everyone will enjoy.

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Port Of Forty Thieves - 1944 - 6/10

Decent Republic programmer. More mystery than Noir.
Merry socialite wants to inherit multi-millionaire husband’s estate.
He vanished over seven years ago, so she hires lawyer to establish the death legally.
Slight wrinkle - clues, such as cheques signed by missing millionaire, keep appearing.
Impossible, the wife thinks - and knows - since she murdered him.
At less than an hour, this B-film speeds along with more murder, attempted murder, blackmail.
One darkly enjoyable element is Stephanie Bachelor as the widowmaker.

Cheerful and sunny throughout, when scheming or when killing.
Nice to see someone who enjoys her work.

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Andromeda Nebula - 1967 - 5/10
AKA - Tumannost Andromedy // Туманность Андромеды

Turgid Soviet space opera.
A crew finds itself trapped on an “iron planet,” unable to escape the gravitational pull.
Meanwhile, back on Earth, scientists and the intelligentsia, debate, ponder, and rhapsodize about humanity,
Those guys are a drag.
Back on the iron planet, an invisible presence starts killing.
Sets are bad, optical effects interesting, costumes are glorified togas.
Characters spout highfalutin propaganda at will. Zzzzz.
I watched out of curiosity as the KGB banned the writer after this.

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The Power - 2021 - 6/10

New nurse, rather nurse trainee, Valerie (“Call me Val”) starts at the ward, bright eyed, idealistic.
She grew up in this hard luck borough, understand.
Actually, in the orphanage nearby.
She understands deprivation. Dark is another matter.
And in 1974 Britain, there are trade union strikes and the power goes off at 7:00 PM.
This probably goes under the subset of Medical Horror, though this is more a haunting.
Much better than indicated on review sites, I was tempted to tally an extra point.
Except for the music which is loud and intrusive, dominating throughout.

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The Crucified - 1921 - 5/10
AKA - Ukrizovaná

The soldier and best friend priest are both smitten with the innkeeper’s daughter.
The priest has his vows, so the soldier scores, and the daughter wins “Baby Jackpot!”
Out of wedlock, plus she’s Jewish, he’s not, what happens next? Yeah, the heave ho.
This is dreary throughout, and underpinned with 1848 Revolutions that seem endless.
Numerous battles, characters come and go.
The print I saw was nicely restored, but the music score was too modern.
Electronic blips, swirls, pulsations, ambiant groans. An overall distraction.

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A Woman’s Revenge - 1990 - 5/10
AKA - La Vengeance d’une Femme

Closet drama pitting two women, wife and girlfriend, of deceased husband / lover.
Whose fault? Who ought to bear guilt? How much suffering suffices?
Psychological story starts OK, and holds interest for an hour.
Then it seems to slow. Conversations are repetitive, themes regurgitated.
Of the characters, any 13 year old would have tired of “the game” and walked.
Feels like a play, or a bloated infection.

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Split Second - 1953 - 6/10

Pair of convicts break out of prison, greet a confederate, and hit the road.
Enroute waits a stash of loot and south of the border passage.
First - car, hostages, and a hideout.
What better place to hide than an abandoned mining town, half mile from an atomic bomb test site?
“No one will hunt for us here. Especially since there is a test tomorrow at 6:00 AM.”
Part Noir, part Playhouse drama.
Eye candy includes luscious Jan Sterling (bad girl with the good heart), and Alexis Smith (bitter wife, bored and oh-so easy).
The real star, though, is Stephen McNally, the head con. Tough, unflinching, he can and does kill in a heartbeat.
Smartest man in the room. Yet being a Noir, things can go wrong, even for smart guys.

This was Dick Powell’s first directorial film and I could not get over the nuclear bomb angle.
Three years later, he would direct The Conqueror on Utah’s atomic testing grounds.
That movie, an atrocious John Wayne vehicle, is notorious for the heavy death toll, stars and crew, from cancer.

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Der Samurai - 2014 - 4/10

Can’t say I wasn’t warned.
Low-budget horror film from Germany earned scathing reviews … except … from pretentious arthouse types.
In whose ranks I probably belong.
Apparently I am not pretentious enough, however.
Local police officer deals with problem wolf by feeding it in the woods.
“What are you trying to do?” everyone asks. “Feeding it won’t get rid of it!”
Chasing a lead, he enters an abandoned house and finds a homeless squatter.
Male - wearing a dress - applying makeup - wielding a samurai sword.
Lots of speculative arguments follow, along with foot chases.
Is the guy a werewolf? Or an escapee of sorts in a dress?
Film - shot almost exclusively at night - suffers from limited costs. No plot and no effects.
Dull - boring - offscreen gore - no sex - no nudity - scant violence.
Wine ‘n cheese crowd might enjoy better, indie horror flick connoisseurs that we are.

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Clue - 2022 - 7/10

Theatrical production from Paper Mill Playhouse.
Derived from the enduring board game, loosely based on the 1985 film, this is a breathless farce.
Characters arrive at Boddy Manor, innuendos pile up, and do bizarre treacheries.
Set in 1950’s McCarthy witch-hunt America, where no one is above suspicion.
Extremely funny play.
Camerawork is serviceable, audio mostly OK.
Lengthy introduction is illuminating.
Theatre junkies, dinner is served! Best advised to wolf down the hors d’oeuvres.

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Dinner Rush - 2000 - 7/10

Trials and tribulations for the owner of a small Italian restaurant.
His old business partner has been mysteriously murdered, two pushy hoods wants to take over his restaurant.
Employees air problems, among the patrons sniffs a food critic. Add family issues.
Wiseguy vibe hums throughout.
Fans of Mafia films will recognize a place footsoldiers would feel at home in.
John Corbett memorable as cheerful barfly, on assignment.

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Supermensch - 2013 - 7/10

Eye raising factually, but highly entertaining documentary on Shep Gordon.
Manager to Alice Cooper, Blondie, Teddy Pendergrass, Pink Floyd (for barely a week), Luther Vandross, Wolfgang Puck, Emeril Lagasse, Groucho Marx, King Sunny Ade, Gipsy Kings, Jean Luc Ponty, Rick James, Pointer Sisters, Raquel Welch . . .
Stories are all funny and genuinely amazing, though the overall tone is one of endless backslapping.
Gordon was married to a Playboy model (not interviewed), dated Sharon Stone for years (not interviewed).
He was a tough businessman, none of his rivals were interviewed.
One gets the impression he remains a serial womanizer, which might explain why so few females appear.
Score is purely for entertainment value. Dock a couple points if shadows and darker honesty is your preference.

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The Silent Partner - 1978 - 7/10

Milquetoast Miles, teller at the bank, comes across an aborted stickup note.
Wait a minute! It was the Santa Claus who left it, but I bet he’ll be back.
Sure enough, next day Santa returns, whereupon Miles quickly pockets most of the cash “before” the robbery.
Later, the criminal (a terrifying Christopher Plummer) realizes he has been fooled and zeroes in on Miles.
Neo-Noir turns into nail-biting thriller.
At the time, this gem was overlooked until it was championed by two rising film critics: Siskel & Ebert.
Darkly funny at times, and coworker Louise fills some eye popping T-shirts.

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Terror In Tower - 2020 - 6/10

The Hollywood Tower, in case you are curious.
Two visitors consult with who appears to be a medium.
They want to know who killed their friend, Mr. Serling.
French short (Court-Métrage) plays homage to “The Twilight Zone.”
Atmosphere and settings enhance understated mood piece.
Indie outfit, BA Productions 66, has interesting array of shorts.
https://ba-production-66.webself.net/

English subtitles = https://www.mediafire.com/file/6t32z9sv7utf4q2/Terror_In_Tower_-_2020.srt

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Boomerang - 1947 - 6/10

Part of 20th Century Fox Noir releases.
Popular minister is murdered on a busy sidewalk by man in coat and hat.
Police proceed to arrest every man who fills said description - poor or unemployed men, naturally.
They zero in on one and wear him down, refusing to let him sleep, until he signs a “confession.”
Case closed! Citizens can rest easy at nights as democracy triumphs again.
Well … no … cause this ain’t no Noir. It’s an early, preachy Elia Kazan film.
Corrupt small town America, themes that landed Kazan in a hotseat before HUAC.
There are better and more fun Noirs out there, as well as finer Kazan films, though I tend to shun this particular director.

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At The End Of The World - 2017 - 6/10
AKA - Fin ar Bed

Three travelers disconnected, on the run. Exhausted.
By chance, or by Fate, they pile into the car and share journeys.
While each trip is meaningless to the others, for one there is significance.
Seven part mystery, which I am sad to confess, I binge watched.
Episodes are about 10 minutes long, including 2 minutes for recaps and credits.
The ending was atmospheric, but this is European arthouse territory.
A few hours later, thinking about it, I realized I had misunderstood the conclusion.

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Blast Of Silence - 1961 - 6/10

Frank, hitman from Cleveland, exits the train in New York, then heads south.
Further, eight-ball, all the way, until he catches the Staten Island Ferry.
Onboard, his client hands the envelope containing half payment and photo of the target.
Looking at the weak mouth and foolish mustache, Franks hates him already.
The target is a low level guy with “ambitions” and two bodyguards.
Frank hates them too, along with the season, Christmas, and the busy pedestrians.
Frank has a lot of hate, pent up, which the mob appreciates.
Chance encounters with old friends, however, kink up his pattern.
New York street scenes predominate in gritty, low budget film.
Frank’s stream of consciousness narrates constantly.
At first, I found this irritating, then simply rolled with it.
One of the last from the “classic” Noir era.

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Lucky Bastard - 2013 - 5/10

“Found footage” movie suffers from the usual “found footage” flaw - dead air grinding momentum to a halt.
Film in this production was assembled from a porn shoot that turned bloody.
Ah, porn and violence, voyeurs are already sniffing the air.
Premise is that one random fan of paid porn website gets to bang a pornstar. The lucky bastard.
The starlet has veto power, and her intuition warns her about one particular guy.
Still, guess who gets selected?

Despite the genre, no penetration, no money shots. Gratuitous nudity aplenty, though.
Decent casting in this, with several familiar actors.
Script is laced with inside jokes, dark humor, stretches of boredom, and the creepy build.
If the concept sounds familiar, Boogie Nights had the sequence where Rollergirl filmed sex with winners in Jack’s limousine, which didn’t go so well.
Likewise for most in this film.

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Anything For Jackson - 2020 - 6/10

“You know, I think we’re in over our heads.“
The slow realization, after joining a Satanic cult, then abducting a pregnant woman.
That perhaps, maybe, relying on Google for crucial information isn’t the wisest course.
Droll, so droll one might mistake this for another humorless horror riff.
A tale of grief, regret, of a couple desperately trying to press some reset button.
Throughout, humor, very clever humor, mocks the proceedings.
This would be a horror gem, save for the collapsed ending.
Missing are perhaps two minutes of plot stitching.
Instead, the writer, perhaps out of ideas, quit mid-stride.
Fill your boots, man.

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Shinobi no Mono 7: Mist Saizo Strikes Back - 1966 - 7/10
AKA - Shin Kirigakure Saizô // 忍びの者 新・霧隠才蔵

The ailing emperor retains the Fuma clan to finish off the Iga ninjas.
Following events of Shinobi 6, the Iga are little more than a company, perhaps smaller.
Theirs is now a rearguard action. As they win small battles, their numbers dwindle.
Strategies succeed at times, or members fall into traps, or are betrayed.
As always, terrific stuntwork, complicated fight choreography.
Visually, the series grows progressively darker, in keeping with the fatalistic tone.
With a final installment to go, one could predict this may not end well.

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Almost Perfect Crimes - 2012 - 6/10
AKA - Des Crimes Presque Parfaits

Reenacted crimes from the 1700s to 1930’s, analyzed and discussed by a variety of talking heads.
Something you might see on the Crime Channel (is there such a thing?) only this is French.
Everyone speaks in French (hard-subbed) save for the narrator.
Beware, most of the guilty climb the scaffold.
Moreover, some of those receiving the guillotine chop would be considered innocent in today’s eye.
Acceptable viewing - say you are stuck at the Wash-O-Rama.

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Six Days, Six Nights - 1994 - 6/10
AKA - À la Folie

Elsa reaches the breaking point. Indifferent husband, annoying children, empty pantry.
Heading out for a few groceries, she keeps going.
Until she arrives in Paris, where her painter / artist sister, Alice lives.
With her boxer boyfriend.
Don’t expect a ménage à trois. And instead of tense sibling rivalry, expect toxic rivalry.
Apparently since childhood, the girls have baited, played mind games, resorted to physical violence.
Less talky than most French fare, this is mean-spirited to the core.
Most puzzling is wondering why one tolerates the other.

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Mississippi - 1935 - 7/10

Love, honor, manhood.
Pacifist Quaker refuses to duel, is branded a coward, and his Southern belle dumps him.
Fortunately, the riverboat captain has need of a singer for his floating casino.
The Quaker is renamed Colonel Steel, the singing killer!
Bing Crosby fine as the smooth vocalist, trying to win back his wayward fiancée.
W.C. Fields as Commodore Jackson is the real reason to watch this.
That gargle of his is that of the blustering showman, and his physical humor is peerless.

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 (Edited)

Battle In Outer Space - 1958 - 5/10
AKA - Uchû Daisensô / / 宇宙大戦争

Earth’s space station gets attacked and destroyed by alien spacecraft.
World leaders assemble and scientists explain the invaders (the Natal) have a base on the Moon.
Fortunately, Japan reveals they have already constructed two rocket ships. And a ray gun.
Small scale war ensues.
The Moon parts are fine, decent sets, good models, inventive special effects.
Lunar explorer pods resemble vibrators with wheels.

The pint-sized Natal are clearly children, though. Earth cosmonaut costumes most unstylish.
In many regards, this is refried Mysterians from 1957, an altogether superior film which boasted a finer score.
Even the saucers look like the Natal jacked them from Mysterian.
OK enough, but not the first choice for vintage Toho SciFi.