As good as the previous crawl was, I didn’t like how the senators calling for the Resistance were implied to be the ones in endless division. Here’s a new attempt:
The last Jedi has vanished. In his absence, a sinister Imperial power has risen to threaten the galaxy.
As the Republic fractures under the threat of war, a few brave senators have secretly called upon a daring RESISTANCE to find Luke Skywalker before the light of the legendary Jedi is lost forever.
Emerging from its hidden Imperial fortress, the evil FIRST ORDER hastens toward the wasteland of Jakku, sanctuary of the true believers who have discovered a key to the Jedi’s return…
I think ‘a few brave senators’ casts the Republic in the light of being worth saving while also recognizing that the Senate will be unable to directly help the Resistance. I also wanted to lead into the third paragraph by subtly implying that Luke (or the idea of the Jedi in general) is under imminent threat.
Just a look at where things are, and I’ll be moving on to addressing other issues in the film.
I’d suggest “Emerging from a hidden Imperial fortress”. The pronoun sounds initially like it’s going to refer back to the previous sentence (the Resistance), rather than refer forwards to a new noun (the First Order). The indefinite article removes that ambiguity.