Thoughts on a Strike at the Heart:
I still believe the scene of Ahsoka being relegated to guard duty should be moved back here. Having those narrative elements with just absence in between feels wrong. I don’t think you need to justify why Ahsoka was not in the previous two episodes
When robo Seth Green shakes his head, you can tell he’s supposed to be saying something despite having his audio cut. I would either re-add his snark, or cut the shot entirely.
The abrupt way Bane’s conversation with the other bounty hunter begins is jarring. Is there a reason you cut much of the dialog from this scene?
The librarian’s conversation seems to start very suddenly, and the scene itself is oddly short. I think this could be remedied if Ahsoka’s punishment scene were brought back to this episode.
I would actually consider maybe paring down Anakin and Padme’s “romance” dialog at 7:10. It’s important to the plot so it can’t just be cut, but it’s not good (I don’t know why that task is apparently impossible for Star Wars writers)
13:02 How does Cad Bane know Skywalker?
It’s unclear how the senate hostage situation did anything to aid the holocron heist. It just kind of feels like a sidetrack for no reason. If anything it does the opposite by putting all of Coruscant on high alert and looking for Bane. It also makes the heroes look clueless and incompetent when we transition back to the holocron heist plot because they seem totally unaware that the stuff going down might be related the criminal that evaded capture only minutes earlier.
28:20 The “conversation” with Mace feels very weird here. It doesn’t feel like Mace is speaking in response to Obi-Wan, and Yoda’s reply is strange since the “him” he refers to (Bane in your edit) was not the subject of the conversation. They were discussing the holocron itself and then Yoda refers to the presumed Bane with a pronoun without anyone mentioning him by name. Grammatically it’s strange, and not in the normal Yoda way. I’m not sure why you got rid of the Bolla Ropal plot element that forced the changes to the exchange, but that might become clear next episode.