Thoughts on Children of Night:

13:32 I know I’m usually one calling for more establishing shots, but I think here it’s actually unnecessary. Since the immediately preceding shot is one of the mother alluding to her revenge, I think that an immediate cut to her call with Dooku would create a smoother transition. It’s almost not even a new scene.

I’m not sure if I agree with the decision to remove the assassination attempt. You mention in your notes that you don’t like adding new “force powers”, but I actually think that this is a fairly explicit example of magic separate from the force that the sisters have access to. It establishes that they have some sort of mysterious abilities totally distinct from what we see in the Jedi/Sith. You say that it just returns to the status quo, which is a little true, but the mother reveals that it is part of a larger plan to make Dooku feel uneasy and vulnerable, thereby necessitating a new assassin. Also, as you point out, it’s just a really fun sequence to watch.

Similarly, I don’t know if cutting the first two challenges is an improvement. It’s a good sequence of events that also highlight how sadistic Ventress is, and how the two brothers were all that remained of a grueling crucible (plus “let the game begin” isn’t a phrase people say and sounds awkward, as is having a second character say “begin” immediately after she does)

49:50 I was about to comment that this cut from one angle to another on the same speaker during the same sentence is distracting, but that’s on Giancarlo Volpe, not you.

Overall I think my commentary on this is similar to the other fan-favorite episodes: it’s better to use a scalpel than a axe. You don’t need to fix what isn’t broken.