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Post #1473715

Author
sherlockpotter
Parent topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1473715/action/topic#1473715
Date created
24-Feb-2022, 11:42 AM

NeverarGreat said:

And here is my latest take:

The last Jedi has vanished. In his absence, a new Imperial power has risen to threaten the galaxy.

Descending into chaos and division, members of the Republic Senate have secretly called upon a daring RESISTANCE to find Luke Skywalker and restore the light of hope to the darkening stars.

Arising from its barbaric hidden stronghold, the IMPERIAL FIRST ORDER hastens toward a village on Jakku, sanctuary of Luke’s faithful disciples who hold the key to the Jedi’s return…

I think that new take works really well, Nev! Implying that the First Order rises specifically because Luke has gone into hiding makes a lot of sense - plus, that adds a really clever twist when you get to TLJ, and you learn that both events stem directly from Luke failing Ben.

You might just want to clarify that “certain/some/several members of the Republic Senate have secretly” blah blah blah, just to make it clearer that Leia & Co. don’t necessarily have the full Senate’s support. (Otherwise, it could be read as if “The Senate has secretly created a Resistance without the First Order realizing.”)

And if I want to be reeeally pedantic, you might be able to more readily hint at Starkiller Base by changing “from its barbaric hidden stronghold” to “from a mysterious hidden base,” to imply that not only does no one know where it is, but also that there’s something more to it than it just being a staging ground. But that’s just splitting hairs.

It’s great to have you back, Nev; take all the time you need!