Maybe I’ll be like Rey - suffering an abusive relationship with this story for so long that I eventually embrace it romantically. 😉 […] it just feels like a very…I dunno, unhealthy foundation for a romance. But I’m open to having my mind changed - goodness knows there’s still plenty of time for that to happen!
Rey/Ben is actually the OPPOSITE of unhealthy and toxic. It’s just been very misrepresented. Rey fell for BEN, not Kylo. She saw through Kylo, wanted to save Ben from the darkness he was lost in. But she realized at the end of TLJ that she couldn’t save him. He could only save himself. We saw awesome, healthy, NON-TOXIC-NESS on display because Rey walked away from Kylo when he wouldn’t stop being, well, Kylo, and continued to embrace the Dark Side.
She continued to want nothing to do with Kylo throughout TRoS. And when she saved his life, she let him know that she wanted to take BEN’S hand, not Kylo’s. And that was like a LIGHTBULB going off in Ben’s head. He could be loved as Ben Solo, something that he hadn’t realized. He didn’t have to be this dark, brooding bad boy, essentially. He could try and be a good guy. That is who Rey wanted, that is who she cared for… the guy who had good in him. Remember she had seen inside his head in TFA, she knew what his childhood and teenage years – where he had been manipulated and abused emotionally, mentally, and physically by Snoke. That was who she was reaching out to. The guy who, like her was looking for a place to belong.
And in the end, BEN made the choice to reject Kylo Ren and save himself, and then go and try to help save the galaxy. He made the healthy choice and it was only at that point that Rey accepted him because he had rejected Kylo Ren.
TLJ, again, set this up beautifully – which had actually started in TFA – but sigh the ball was dropped in quite a few ways in TRoS. double sigh