Hi, I posted some ideas for episode I in the community focus thread, and I think that some of them maybe could work in an edit like yours:
One idea I have is to change the scene where Maul is introduced, putting another one more “lethal” in place. Instead of show Maul being presented by Sidious in a hologram, I think it could be interesting if he his first shown fighting other jedis, using a few images from the fan film Darth Maul: Apprentice, maybe presenting him as a jedi killer.
When Qui Gon was leaving the underwater city using the water transport, Maul could be shown in another place concentrating (using footage from the fan movie Darth Maul vs Jedi), hinting that he would be controling the underwater monster through the force (at a distance), making the creature attack the transport. While Maul was doing this, he could whisper the phrase “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to power” in Qui Gon’s mind (this phrase was said in a Knights of Ren fan trailer, and for me the actor who says this phrase sounds a lot like Maul’s voice actor from Clone Wars. Also, putting this phrase would serve to differentiate well the philosophy of the Sith as opposed to that of the Jedi, said by Yoda later in the film). For this scene, I figured it would be cool to “cut” Qui Gon from the scene he meditates (at the end of the film) to put him meditating there, in the transport (I don’t know if this would be possible through editing). In this way, Qui Gon would use the force to control a bigger fish, which would attack the smaller fish controlled by Maul. After Qui Gon spoke the phrase about the “big fish”, Maul would be shown furious with Qui Gon’s victory.
During the pod race, in the moment that Anakin is thrown out of the road, I thought it could be cool to show a close-up of his face and play the "force theme song”, as if Anakin himself was already using the force without knowing it, during that period of his life. After the movie shows Qui Gon’s reaction to Anakin using the force, it would then be shown Anakin’s vehicle returning to the track thanks to his force powers (my idea with this is to try to give a little more emotion to the race, in addition to showing that Anakin was not a complete ignorant in the force until then).
After Maul lost his duel to Qui Gon on Tatooine, I thought it would be cool to show Maul training (using scenes from the fan movie Darth Maul: Apprentice), very angry that he lost again to Qui Gon and wanting revenge (I thought it would be nice to add some Maul lines from Battlefront 2 here).
And that’s it.
EDIT: I don’t know if you know this software, but it could help you to create new voice lines for Qui Gon Jinn: https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Make-Qui-Gon-say-whatever-you-want-thanks-to-droids-Machine-Learning/id/87366