- I like that new structure! I wonder if there’s a way of keeping more of the original scenes, though - maybe the Jedi are going to the Droid Control Ship first to either end the invasion diplomatically, or they think the Queen is being held there, depending on dialogue options. It could even be a deliberate trap for them to go there first, since Sidious would know the Senate has dispatched Jedi to go there and rescue the Queen.
I’m wondering, Faraday, what do you think would be the advantages of retaining those scenes? In terms of character development, the two parties (Jedi and Neimoidians) don’t meet there - the Jedi are simply attacked by droids before they flee. I think the negative of including them is that it means the Jedi stumble into the plot, rather than have a more exciting/interesting rescue mission, and the first (chronological) time we see the Jedi they get easily overwhelmed by these corny cheap robots. If we trim them, and set the Jedi on the planet deliberately, their first action scenes show them handily dealing with a few droids in the forest to protect Jar Jar, then successfully saving Padmé from her prison escort, then successfully handling a hangarful of droids - all escalating evidence of martial competence. Other than showing a bit of Neimoidian fear at having the Jedi onboard, which is valuable but seen again elsewhere, the Neimoidian shots don’t require the Jedi there, and the Jedi scene could be placed on their transport, as suggested by StarkillerAG.
Without a dialogue rework, having them leave for the surface without confirming that the Queen isn’t on board (they haven’t searched it, or accessed its databanks, etc) might make their leaving seem indifferent - and you might also need a dialogue rework to have them suprised when they do actually find her in Theed.