A handful of semi-related thoughts:

Maul has two lines in the movie and I think both could be more compellingly replaced by TCW lines, and perhaps even a few dubbed in when his mouth isn’t onscreen to make him slightly more talkative. I like poetic TCW Maul better than mute TPM Maul.
I like that new structure! I wonder if there’s a way of keeping more of the original scenes, though - maybe the Jedi are going to the Droid Control Ship first to either end the invasion diplomatically, or they think the Queen is being held there, depending on dialogue options. It could even be a deliberate trap for them to go there first, since Sidious would know the Senate has dispatched Jedi to go there and rescue the Queen.
With the “blockade becomes a single ship” thing, could we a) add more ships in the background in the later scene, and b) add a coloured stripe to the main Droid Control Ship to differentiate it? That way, Obi-Wan* can say “that’s the control ship” and the line serves a dual purpose.

Edit: I started typing this before Eddie had published his comment. I like the idea of removing all the other ships at the start better.

What work has been done in the past to cut the victory celebration at the end? I enjoy that scene just fine and I get that it’s a mirror of ANH, but it feels weird to go from this uneasy ending where things are left on a very mixed note to a huge “hooray, we did it!” ending. I personally like the idea of the final shot lingering on Palpatine by the pyre, but I can’t imagine the iris out or musical cue would work for that.

*Or whoever says it, I rewatched the movie a few days ago but I don’t remember that detail.