Here’s my detailed feedback and custom follow-up edit list for the final three episodes of Season 1. As always, most is subjective, but feel free to take anything that you want.
Please do note the text issue for “Children of Night” and the two text issues for “The Future of the Force.”
CHILDREN OF NIGHT
- The opening text uses the word “Whilst.” Though technically correct, it is the only instance in any of these crawls where you use an archaic term like this. I suggest replacing it with “While” for consistency.
Whilst it may need looking at for consistency with the existing grammar, but ‘whilst’ is used about as much as ‘while’ in England and is far from archaic. As far as I’m aware EddieDean is from England Scotland (dammit, that was almost an act of war).
Edit: Case in point. I didn’t even notice, but I started my sentence thusly.
Edit: Also ‘artefact’ is a legitimate spelling (one that was wrong on a massive billboard in London in Eternals), again, it’s the Commonwealth spelling so it’d be a matter of consistency not correction.