I’ve revisited and tweaked Rose’s added line, and I’m satisfied, for now, with what I’ve done. Now, BB-8 rolls in and burbles emphatically, Rose says “The shuttle,” BB-8 bleeps in alarm, and the group sprints off. I don’t think the added line is distracting or noticeably sentence-mixed, although it does sound like a bit of a flat delivery perhaps. It’s fine for its purpose, unless something better shows up.
Post #1466228
- Author
- CaptainFaraday
- Parent topic
- The Last Jedi: Stoic Edition (WIP)
- Link to post in topic
- https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1466228/action/topic#1466228
- Date created
- 9-Jan-2022, 10:05 PM