I have had these feelings on and off throughout my life . At times it was due to situational depression . Something a friend said to me years ago actually helped a bit , he said , " maybe it’s not you that’s fucked up ,maybe it’s the world . " another thing that has helped me in recent years is that 5 years ago , I suffered from a severe systemic infection and lost my lower right lobe of my right lung to it , as well as being diagnosed with type 2 adult onset diabetes . I almost died and it took me a year to recover . It was hard to find motivation to do anything for a bit , I knew I had to do what exercise I could to get my strength and blood sugar under control and found the solution in music …uplifting , motivational music . I started out by just walking for 15 minutes at a time and within a few months I could do a full aerobic work out and use light dumbells . I would suggest talking to your doctor about what kind of exercise you can do …it takes a while to get going as well as a bit to feel the results ,but it gives one a healthy dose of endorphins which can vastly improve ones mood and outlook . I am also here if you need someone to talk to . Feel free to pm me .