Just watched my edit in full. I think the restructuring works. I’ll update the changes list sometime when I’m not working my day job.

Next, I’m thinking about removing Rey’s decision to not sell BB-8. It doesn’t seem to me like it adds much to Rey’s character (other than to make her look like a goody-two-shoes protagonist. Even then, I think that’s a problem, especially since we find out in Episode IX that

she’s a Palpatine).

The only problem now is that the remaining exposition about Rey waiting for her family makes for a very short scene, and my main concern is that it might be too short. So I’m torn between keeping a scene that may be better left on the floor, or risking messing with the flow and timing. I guess I’d like a second or third opinion on this dilemma.