Awesome document! It’s way less dialogue edits than I thought it would be.
For the last one, I had an idea, but your mileage may vary on how it would alter the scene in a practical editing sense. Have Palpatine say, “But the only family you have here…” and then he opens the roof to show all the Resistance losing the battle. He later refers to them as her family too, unless I’m misremembering it, so it would lean into the “found family” theme of the movie to make the villain derisive towards it.