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Here’s a link to my new official IFDB page listing!!
https://ifdb.fanedit.org/hobbit-the-battle-of-the-five-edits-the/
Trailer:
(Warning, Major Spoilers)
Intro Title Card sample:
Anyone who browses this site regularly has probably seen the overabundance of Hobbit edits, and it is that reason specifically that I believe my edit deserves your attention! As the name suggests, my edit is a culmination of all the good things that these other editors have done to Peter Jackson’s work, along with many of my own additions. I would like to thank DonKamillo, Dustin Lee, Adam Dens, L8wrtr, Spence, Wraith and M4 for the wonderful work they did, and for being the main sources of inspiration for this version of the Hobbit. Without their edits, mine would not have been possible.
I would also like to thank my wife for all her support in this endeavor. We got married on Frodo and Bilbo’s birthday in 2020, and then exactly one week later: I rented out an auditorium at my local movie theater and showed this version to 25 of my friends! ( Her idea!) I received some critiques, and tweaked accordingly. At this point I feel confident stating that my edit is 100% done. However, despite having a successful beta, many games receive patches after launch day, and I am prepared to do the same. I welcome any and all critiques!
With that, I would like to present The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Edits to the world.
This edit will be getting approval on IFDB in a few days’ time as well!
BoFE is split into 5 episodes, clocking a total runtime of roughly 5 hours and a collective file size of 8.83 gigs (1 hour and 1.5 gigs each)
Changes:
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DonKamillo (The Anti-Cringe Cut, Miniseries version) is THE reason for not only the 5 episode format, but the existence of my edit as a whole. Many times had I contemplated making my own edit, but never knew where to begin. Finding his edit was the starting point for me; I originally set out to very slightly adjust his edit to my own liking, and it only grew from there. His edit is the bones of my own; any changes from the originals that I forgot to mention below were most likely done by him
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The episode titles are the same as used by DonKamillo (Chapters from the book), I debated changing some of them to further differentiate from the Anti-Cringe cut but there weren’t really any better options for titles. Spot on choices here DK.
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Azog has been removed from 90% of this edit, but he does appear at the end as the leader of the armies, similar to the role Lieutenant Gothmog has in LotR (DonKamillo)
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The Dol Guldur Subplot has been completely removed (I may add it back in an optional Episode 4.5 one day, but for now it has been excised)
Episode 1 - An Unexpected Journey
- This episode retains 99% of its structure from the Anti-Cringe Cut, I cut the scene of Gandalf scaring Bilbo by looking through the window, and added back the scene of Bilbo going to the market (both M4’s idea)
Episode 2 - Riddles in the Dark
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This is where things start changing quite a bit from Anti-Cringe, starting with removing small continuity errors of Gandalf mentioning the orc/sled chase sequence that has been excised, once when Elrond arrives and once at dinner
Cut Bofur singing and dancing on the dais they used for the One Ring in the Fellowship (Love the joke, don’t mind the song, but too goofy) -
You see Galadriel show up, elf announces that he dwarves snuck out, and Gandalf talks to Galadriel briefly during the dwarves’s departure
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Used Maple’s version of removing the Storm/Rock Giants, which includes Bilbo slipping and falling and needing rescuing, rather than ALMOST falling
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No Goblin King song (kept the very short version that appears in the Theatrical)
Bilbo does not witness Gollum dropping the Ring out of his pocket, he finds it like he did in the book. The rest of the Gollum sequence is 100% intact -
I used a couple different versions of the Golbin Tunnels escape/battle, but most of the fighting in these scenes is just too silly and CGI heavy for me, so I went with L8wrtr’s version; Gandalf shows up, chase begins, cut to Bilbo and Gollum and remove all of the fighting, Gollum then hides from the party as they run by, Bilbo escapes and joins them.
The Eagles rescue occurs with a few Orcs, but no Azog. I then used M4 and eric1894’s version of the carrock scene; Thorin’s scars have been digitally removed, and the scene occurs without the complicated Thorin/Bilbo bonding scene.
Wraith removed the “60 Years Later…” caption when Bilbo first meets Gandalf and the “12 months later” caption at the end of Episode 2 (the start of Desolation of Smaug when Bilbo peeks up at the orcs and wargs)
Episode 3 - A Warm Welcome
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Used M4’s transitions for the party arriving at Beorn’s house and Gandalf’s departure outside Mirkwood
Beorn’s intro from the extended edition is here because I loved it in the book and they kept it pretty close to verbatim -
Used M4’s version of Dwarves vs Spiders after Bilbo frees them; No baby spider, no Spider-Man Legolas, much less silliness
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Kept “That’s my wee lad, Gimli” because I love it.
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M4’s reversed shot of Bilbo peeking around the corner inside Thranduil’s house
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The Legolas/Tauriel/Kili love story has been completely excised
Thranduil does his weird melty-face bit because he lays down some foreshadowing about Thorin being “just like [your grandfather]” -
Legolas and Tauriel’s only real roles are capturing the dwarves in Mirkwood, shooting some Orcs during the barrel sequence and then, and warning Gandalf about Bolg’s army in Episode 5
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The Barrel Chase scene remains, with Bolg, but has been trimmed heavily, in my own modified version of Maple Films’s version
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The Company arriving in Lake Town is a modified version of DonKamillo’s, with a sprinkling of M4
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REVERTED - Balin doesn’t mention the black arrow being the ONLY thing that can kill Smaug (M4) I decided to undo this cut because Balin mentions that the black arrow is the only thing that can pierce the dragon’s hide. We find out shortly thereafter via Bain “…you’d know that Girion hit the dragon. He loosened a scale under the left wing.” Girion’s actions with the black arrow are what allow L8wrtr’s regular arrow method to work, and negates the purpose of removing that line from Balin. Bard is only able to kill Smaug with a regular arrow in Episode 4 because Girion chipped off a scale with the black arrow. This is much more in line with the book; Smaug has a chink in his armor, Bard shoots him with a regular arrow that he refers to as his “black arrow” seemingly because it’s his lucky arrow and is colored black.
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This sequence change also takes Chehkov’s Gun (Arrow, in this case) from the original movies and turns it into a red herring, which is a really awesome opportunity.
Episode 4 - Fire and Water
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The dwarves don’t stay behind with Bard and his family; Maple Films handled this beautifully, and I replicated it (including his digitally edited shot(s) of all the dwarves walking to the mountain)
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The dwarves do not give up at the secret door (L8wrtr)
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The dwarves do not enter the mountain until after Smaug has been defeated
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No Golden Smaug – I used L8wrtr’s version of Smaug’s exit and applied M4’s (Formerly Maple’s) color correction to Smaug
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The lead-up to Smaug decimating Lake Town is of my own design, and I’m very proud of it!
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Used Maple’s digitally corrected shot of the Dwarvish Wind Lance to make it appear like it’s on fire, showing the audience why he didn’t try to use it
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Bard then uses a regular arrow in a modified version of L8wrtr’s Smaug fight which makes perfect sense to me because:
(Already stated above) I always felt that having the Black Arrow be the only thing that could pierce the dragon’s hide was fine, but then having that also be the “only” thing that could kill him once the armor was already broken was… Overkill? -
Used a combination of M4/Maple Films’s version of the post-Smaug lake town carnage/recovery efforts
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Tweaked this further to remove Alfrid entirely (we assume he died with the Master) and mention of the Black Arrow, whilst keeping the scene of Bard giving his rallying speech to the people of Laketown (…We find shelter etc)
You don’t see Bilbo hand over the Arkenstone, nor do you see Gandalf return and consult with Thranduil and Bard about the incoming orc assault. Episode 4 ends with Bilbo leaving the company on the wall at night, and Episode 5 begins in the morning with the elves and men knocking at the gate.
I did this for three reasons:
- Gandalf telling Thrandiul and Bard that Azog has an army that has “been bred for war” is a line I got sick of hearing, it also diminishes the entire existence of the Uruk-hai in LotR
- Gandalf’s return is now also seen as a surprise, as the viewer sees his return at the same time the dwarves do, which doesn’t automatically make it a good thing, but I believe it is in this case… Gandalf has been disappearing and reappearing for like 4 hours (7 originally) straight at this point so it’s very in-character
- Cutting Bilbo’s Arkenstone delivery adds a layer of mystery to his departure. Sure, we can all guess why he left, but we don’t KNOW why he left, until it is revealed. I am aware that his delivery is a scene that’s in the book, but I feel cutting it from my version helped with the pacing and added this layer of mystery that these movies never had in the beginning
Episode 5 - There and Back Again
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The large majority of the Battle occurs the way it does in Adam Dens’s edit (silliness removed, worms removed, the usual stuff)
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Adam Dens is the only edit I’ve ever seen that removes the absolutely atrocious elves-leaping-over-the-dwarven-phalanx bit. That scene gives Game of Thrones a run for its money for the Worst Military Strategy I’ve ever seen (Looking at you Battle of Winterfell) Thank god for Adam. It’s gone.
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Azog kills Fili and Bolg kills Kili (Adam Dens)
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Azog is never mentioned by name, (re-0used and reversed a shot of Thorin to cover up Bilbo saying “Azog” in one shot)
A lot of editors trim out Bard leading the humans in battle inside Dale, but Adam chose to leave it and intertwine it with the second phase of the Battle. I kept this because giving Bard an actual story (rescuing his kids, leading the humans) was an excellent choice by the filmmakers to fix Tolkein’s Deux Ex Machina of having some random dude named Bard show up and One Shot “the chiefest and greatest calamity of our age” and then be completely inconsequential.
Thorin still experiences dragon sickness but it is toned down just a tad. In the book it’s not some magical illness, things are just going to his head (primarily greed) but I felt that trying to cut out all of the film’s version left things feeling magically resolved, so I left it. Plus I absolutely love all of Richard Armitage’s acting during this bit. He portrays the sort of Gollum/Smeagol-esque dual personality disorder VERY well. Not everyone is, but I am especially partial to when Thorin spits out a Smaug line word-for-word to Bilbo and he just stares back in disbelief. -
Azog kills Fili
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Bolg kills Kili
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Azog vs Thorin: M4 had a solid version of handling this that removed the entire bit of Azog breaking out of the ice, but it involved cutting out so much of the fight that when we come back to it after seeing the Eagles/Beorn wrecking shop, all of a sudden Thorin is on his back about to die. To circumvent this I rearranged the sequence of events here so that the Eagles/Beorn show up before Thorin and Azog even start their fight, and then the fight plays out until Azog knocks Thorin off his feet with his rock flail, and capitalizes on it. Both of our versions have some slight continuity errors, but those errors pale when compared to Azog’s physics-defying jump out of the ice.
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Used Maple’s/M4’s digital removal of Radagast
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Funeral has Gandalf’s deleted scene speech reinserted (M4)
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Removed Gandalf acknowledging that Bilbo possesses a Ring (M4)
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I kept the full BoFA credits because although there are a few characters (like Radagast) who don’t show up in this edit, I don’t intend to diminish the time and effort they put into making the original films by excising them from the credits!
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Added shoutouts to everyone who was a part of this project!
Here’s a clip of Smaug escaping the mountain and starting to trash Laketown!
And here’s one of Thorin vs Azog at the end!
I decided to include a Hobbit Edit checklist that I found on Billy Batson’s page that he says was provided by herowoac]
Tl;DR Cutlist
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Faneditor(s): Stromboli Bones
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Name of edit: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Edits
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Movies Included: AUJ, DOS, & BOFTA, both theatrical editions, extended editions, and soundtracks.
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Total Length: 300 minutes/5 one hour episodes
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Intended Tone: To create an edit that combines the best/unique aspects of other edits into one.
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High Fells Plot: Deleted
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White Council Plot: Deleted, Galadriel has an extended cameo
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White Orc Plot: 90% deleted, he is the leader of the army at the end
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Army from the North plot: They show up at the end.
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Love Triangle Plot: Deleted.
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Radagast Inclusion: No.
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Legolas Inclusion: Abbreviated. He’s in Mirkwood, and shows up late in the Battle of Five Armies.
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Tauriel Inclusion: Deleted, for the most part. She appears in a couple shots.
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Alfrid/Master Inclusion: Severely Abbreviated.
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Extended Edition Use: Yes.
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Use of Deleted Scenes: Gandalf’s Eulogy (audio)
SPECIFIC SCENES (yes/no/partial/more info)
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Prologue/Flashbacks: No.
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Chip the Glasses: Yes
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Battle for Moria Flashback: No.
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Radagast in Mirkwood: No.
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Troll Battle: Yes.
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Radagast’s Rabbit Chase: No.
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White Council in Rivendell: No.
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Stone Giants: No.
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Gollum scene modified: Not really.
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Fifteen Birds in Five Fir Trees: Orcs removed (mostly)
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DoS Gandalf/Thorin Prologue: No.
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Beorn: Yes + Extended
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Gandalf in Dol Goldur: No.
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Bilbo fights a bug for the ring: No. Removed most large Ring/Sauron scenes
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Tauriel/Kili in prison: No.
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Barrel Chase: Yes, but trimmed down
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Dwarves in Laketown: Partial
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Dwarfs coming out of a Toilet: No
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Dwarves Left Behind in Laketown: No
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Orcs & Elves in Laketown: No
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Dwarves Give Up at Erebor: No
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Dwarves Combat Smaug: No
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Black Arrow/Bard’s Son & Smaug: No
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White Council battles Nazgul: No
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Thorin’s Dragon Sickness: Yes
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Battle of Five Armies - Restructured
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The Master discusses class warfare: No
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Alfrid wears a dress: No.
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Thorin/Azog combat: Yes, but heavily trimmed: No breakout from the ice
