Sign In

Post #1457304

Author
vranir
Parent topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [SEVEN episodes upgraded to v2.0 (s01e06)]
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1457304/action/topic#1457304
Date created
9-Nov-2021, 2:22 PM
Last modified
9-Nov-2021, 2:24 PM
Edited by
vranir
Reason for edit
None provided

Congratulations on the 1x05 milestone.

I’m just now getting caught up, so here are mg thoughts on “Assassin.”

  • I like how you dialed back the familiarity of Ashoka and Ventress. This works much better.

  • The episode is pretty tight. Good pacing, lots of action, but nothing that really feels unnecessary.

  • In the opening text, I still find the phrase “Meanwhile, the Republic… now fears Separatist spies” to read awkwardly. I suggest the following:

“…that the Malevolence attack plan WAS leaked to Count Dooku, SPARKING fears OF Separatist spies.” This removes the odd personification of the Republic.

  • The initial conversation between Dooku and Sideous has an odd focus on Ventress’ failures, even though we haven’t really seen much of that in this edit series. Maybe consider removing those line portions to leave the impression that she is very competent.

  • Early on, when Ashoka and Luminara are boarding the Venator, there is a noticeable difference between what they are saying and their mouth movements. This wasn’t an issue in the 1.? version; I’m not sure what changed.

  • There’s a very abrupt music transition around 18:24, which maybe could be smoothed out.

Other than that, another solid episode. I’ll watch the new 501st and give some feedback there soon.