Hi Eddie, love the thinking behind the crawl. Ties together many things very neatly. Some suggestions though…

Conflicts erupt in the early days of the Clone Wars.

(Changed the order of the next two sentences so the events of the last episode are mentioned first.)

Having successfully safeguarded Duchess Satine from Death Watch, Anakin and Obi-Wan now rejoin the main clone fleet in their pursuit of General Grievous

(“Successfully safeguarded” works better than “safely protected”, as safely protected implies that you could somehow be “unsafely” protected. I think the word “hunt” is a little too militaristic for the Jedi who are supposedly enlightened and keepers of the peace. So I changed it to “pursuit”. Added “General” Grievous as both Satine and Dooku got their respective titles added when they’re first mentioned in the crawl and it seemed odd to leave it out for him alone.)

Meanwhile, the Republic have learned that their assault plan against the Malevolence was leaked to Count Dooku, arising fears of a Separatist spy.

(Just some minor tweaks to possibly improve the clarity of the text)

— new page —

The covetous NUTE GUNRAY has been caught sending Ryloth’s military secrets to his fellow Separatists, and is being escorted to jail

(Jail not prison cause surely the republic would grant him a trial and not just convict a man without a court order. “Covetous”, I think is a slightly better word here than “greedy”)

Master LUMINARA UNDULI has asked Ahsoka to help question Gunray, as they hope to uncover both Grievous’ location, and Dooku’s plans.

(The original text “…learn the location of Grievous, and Dooku’s plans” reads like they want to learn the location of plans made by Grievous and Dooku, so I changed it to make it more clear

But Dooku will not allow that information to fall into enemy hands…

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