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Post #1452209

Author
vranir
Parent topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [up to s01e05 upgraded to v2.0]
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1452209/action/topic#1452209
Date created
8-Oct-2021, 3:37 PM

Very good episode. I still did go through it again myself though and made a series of tiny trims totaling about 2 minutes. All are pretty nitpicky. Specifics are below, and the file I created is available at the link I previously sent you via PM. As always, feel free to incorporate or mimic anything you like.

  • Trimmed the traitor’s early line about coming across as defensive

  • Trimmed out awkward pauses in Satine’s rooftop greeting to ObiWan

  • Trimmed rooftop mention of Death Watch being on Concordia, as this gets implied/mentioned three separate times, which is a lot for something mysterious

  • Trimmed “weak” from “weak, peace-loving government” in the talk w Dooku

  • Trimmed the governor’s random reminder of the idea that Satine is trying to ally with the Separatists. I get that he’s trying to undermine her and say he knows why ObiWan is there, but it feels random and irrelevant.

  • Trimmed ObiWan repeating to the governor that the man who bombed the shrine was a member of Death Watch.

  • Trimmed ObiWan’s semi-correction that he’s hoping to confirm that the mines aren’t operational.

  • Trimmed the warrior’s line about not respecting Satine and jumped straight to him shooting the lightsaber out of ObiWan’s hand.

  • Trimmed ObiWan’s line about Satine having not changed when she says “but you weren’t [killed back there].”

  • Trimmed Satine’s line on the platform about having hoped that ObiWan of all people would have understood her position. Instead, she offers a more direct rebuke of what he’s saying.

  • Trimmed the first elevator interchange about ObiWan having known Satine previously.

  • Adjusted the timing and volume of the loud door closing sound after ObiWan and Anakin enter the audience chamber.

  • Trimmed the line about it being weird that Artoo is scanning a lot (at least I think that’s what was said). Now the trooper reports Artoo acting strange and two men missing.

  • Trimmed another awkward moment where Anakin asks about ObiWan and Satine in the middle of trying to help. I understand the teasing but it seems a very unhelpful time for it.

  • Tightened up dialogue around the standoff with the advisor to make it a little less corny.

  • Trimmed Anakin’s final “What was that about?” because he knows and we all know he knows. He still has the line about Satine being a special lady.