I like it.

If I were asked to edit this text (which I do professionally), I would question whether the word “military” is necessary when describing the energy shields.

I’d also ask about the need to call Ventress “a priority target.”

Both of those details could be inferred from the context and just make the sentences wordier.

Grammatically (especially if you remove the “priority target” phrase), you should add a comma before ASAJJ VENTRESS. The comma would make it clear that she is Dooku’s assassin (the only one). Without the comma, the technical meaning is that she is one of his potentially many assassins.

That’s as nitpicky as I can be. Every version of the text has been an improvement over the previous, and as it stands now, it’s quite good.