I see how you were confused by my suggestion and I think there's a great solution if you can live with some of the actual dialogue from the balcony scene. I think it has some potential, but I better look more closely before I post specific suggestions.
Regarding the Force ideas -- I love that basically it's not an issue for Episode II and frankly I love the ideas as discussed for Episode I -- not because it addresses the Force ghost problem, but because it addresses the whole lack of an emotional climax for Anakin in that story. The final version of that movie should be that Anakin can feel Qui Gon's guidance through the Force and that when he FEELS Qui Gon DIE, he lets loose with those torpedos. He cuts loose with his first bit of anger and murder because of Qui Gon's death. I don't know how to do it yet, but the changes you suggest get us a little further down that road.
In brief, I'll go over the balcony scene for more notes, but I think the dialogue as written and filmed fits the scene okay. It's even better with this bit of "voice over" at the end. The way it works is as "comfortable conversation" between two people with a lot to hide -- then they look at each other and the conversation stops BUT we HEAR what they want to say -- dubbed in from the next scene in which they ACTUALLY SAY IT. This bit of editing tells the necessary lover beats. We all go through it-- hanging out with a girl you like, talking to her about stuff, listening to her and hoping she likes you, gathering your nerve as you both say dumb stuff and finally taking the leap to say "I like you, a LOT." This little editing trick condenses all that without skipping it or screwing it up the way it was in the original cut. Your work on the balcony scene makes it a natural fit to cut into the fireside chat -- that makes Lucas' point better than he was able to.