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Post #1441506

Author
jarbear
Parent topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1441506/action/topic#1441506
Date created
27-Jul-2021, 12:19 PM

sherlockpotter said:

Hal 9000 said:

Sentence mixing it in my head, it doesn’t seem like it’d sound natural. There ought to be emphasis somewhere in the sentence, like “Leia told me she sensed the end of her Jedi path.”

This was my go at it:

sherlockpotter said:

https://streamable.com/ehphfh

Oh I like the direction of that. A lot. I do agree with others, maybe adding a pause at some point would help “sell” this since it feels like a build up without a pay off, but having a pause, even a moment, would help it.