You wanted feedback so here it is.
Like every fan edit, we can debate the details here and here but overall your work show great respect to the source material, reinforcing the strength of the sequels while eliminating the rough edges. I certainly will recommend your edit for star wars fans who have a hard time enjoying the sequels but want to watch them anyway for whatever reason.
If i have to point one thing, i would move the some time later before Kylo go to Mustafar get the way finder. I understand what you went for but his face scar almost healed and his conversation with the First Order generals are two elements that make the time jump more logical in its original place IMO.
But it is not that important, i enjoy this a lot as a pretty big fan of the sequels ( even with their shortcomings.) Good job and thank you.