There’s one more thing in the crawl that I don’t think has been discussed yet, but I’ve noticed it on my first watch of V1.
In the line “Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has traveled to Mustafar (…)” the word “traveled” is American English spelling. British English spelling is normally “travelled”.
I’m not sure about Hal’s other edits, but unless I’m mistaken, all theatrical Star Wars crawls have specifically avoided this problem by not using any such words.
If you’re editing the crawl, perhaps it makes sense to use another word here too e.g. “flied” or “journeyed”.