I’ve always enjoyed how much more talky TLJ is than the other two so I’m not sure the dialogue trimming is for me, but some of your more structural and visual changes seem very neat - the movie’s tendency to do a Marvel and put unnecessary humour in otherwise sincere moments is somewhat irritating - so I’d really appreciate a link when it’s done.
If Maz sent them to find DJ and then DJ betrays them, doesn’t that reflect somewhat poorly on Maz? Not that it matters in this film.
I think some of the structural aspects would translate to other edits quite easily - things like DJ being the Master Codebreaker, for instance.
Maz’s Castle had a mixed and dubious clientèle; the fact that she was connected with somewhat shady people in TFA was what stopped her feeling like Yoda 2.0 to me. So the fact that she’s apologetically sending them to the only person she knows who could do it, and that person is an amoral criminal, makes a lot of sense to me.