“Flames of rebellion burn across the galaxy. The tyrannical First Order has retaliated by
attackingsilencing any planetary system that supports their enemy.”
I think that’s a nice change, it’s a bit more nuanced, and it helps to make the First Order feel more like their panicking, trying desperately to smother the other uprisings. However, I still think my aforementioned concern still stands - we’re going out of our way here to show the audience that people are trying to join the “resistance” against the First Order (as opposed to necessarily “The Resistance,” i.e. the organization); but we don’t have any way of showing why Poe wouldn’t believe in them at all. We’re showing the audience one thing, and then saying the exact opposite. I still think it would feel incongruous.
Also, while we’re on the topic of potential opening crawl tweaks, I’d vote to also change this part:
Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has traveled to Mustafar, chasing whispers of a hidden power that
would allow him to destroy any threat to his rule…has been rising in the shadows…
I think it would help make Kylo’s plans a little more mysterious. Is he actually going to go along with Palpatine? Does he want to destroy him? In the actual story, the truth of his loyalties isn’t revealed until…the duel in his quarters, I think? Personally, I’d rather not spoil that in the crawl. “HE’S GOING TO BETRAY PALPATINE!!!” Cool, Film. Thanks for the spoon-feeding me the answers.
(I know it’s mostly just a byproduct of the original crawl, but that whole crawl is garbage anyway. “The dead speak”…)