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Post #1435459

Author
sherlockpotter
Parent topic
The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/1435459/action/topic#1435459
Date created
13-Jun-2021, 1:38 AM

Burbin said:

Hate to be the sourpuss over so many of these proposed changes, I just think the original scene/dialogue is fine as is.

Changing Zorii’s line to “I don’t believe that (the war is over)” suggests she has a stake/opinion on the ongoing war. Along with the rest of the dialogue changes it makes it seem like she’s basically admiting to Poe that she’s part of the Kijimi rebellion, right after saying she’s planning to abandon it all and flee, alining with Poe’s sentiments that everyone’s giving up. It’s just an odd contrast. I feel the Kijimi rebellion stuff should be kept as subtle background since we’re so limited on what can actually be shown, bringing it to the forefront just exposes the limitations of being a fanedit.

That’s fair, I get where you’re coming from. To me, “I don’t believe you believe that” just sounds very clunky and unnatural, which is why I wanted to change it. Ideally, she’d say “You don’t believe that,” but as MR pointed out the other day, that’s a surprisingly tricky splice to make.

My intention was to convey that Zorii is telling Poe, “I don’t believe that people are giving up. Listen, you idiot; you can hear them fighting for your cause.” Personally, I don’t take that to mean she’s also fighting for the Republic. Just that other people are. In this new version we’re working on, she’d be surrounded by Republic supporters, whether or not she herself is one. And also, whether “she doesn’t believe that,” or “she doesn’t believe that he believes that,” she still tells him in the next line that “You’re not alone,” so she’s already telegraphing sympathy for his cause…It’s just a tricky semantics situation all around.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Burbin said:

Hate to be the sourpuss over so many of these proposed changes, I just think the original scene/dialogue is fine as is.

Changing Zorii’s line to “I don’t believe that (the war is over)” suggests she has a stake/opinion on the ongoing war. Along with the rest of the dialogue changes it makes it seem like she’s basically admiting to Poe that she’s part of the Kijimi rebellion, right after saying she’s planning to abandon it all and flee, alining with Poe’s sentiments that everyone’s giving up. It’s just an odd contrast. I feel the Kijimi rebellion stuff should be kept as subtle background since we’re so limited on what can actually be shown, bringing it to the forefront just exposes the limitations of being a fanedit.

Mostly agree with this. Beforehand she goes on about how she “can’t stand the cries anymore” and wants to go on her own adventures, so those ideas are partially conflicting. That’s why it’s supposed to be a surprise when she shows up on Exegol later on.

Oh god…Christ, I forgot about this line. Screw this movie, haha. That’s a good catch, Jar Jar; thank you. That’s another line that doesn’t quite jive with the “Kijimi in rebellion” angle, so we’ll have to fix that. Could we cut that line entirely? “First Order took most of the kids a long time ago… I’ve saved up enough to get out. I’m going to the colonies.” That should effectively explain that she’s done with this planet, right? Or would we have to change it to something like “This isn’t my fight. I’ve saved up enough to get out”?

But yeah, since “the cries” are now the calls to rebellion, she comes across as an old geezer wanting the neighborhood kids to get off her yard. “You youngsters! Back in my day, when an evil regime oppressed us, we stood there and took it! Bah.”